#1
Sipping on champagne
You lost your right to complain
You dug your own your grave knowing it was going to rain

Translucent eyes
Filled with corporate lies
I'm being engulfed, I'm saying my goodbyes

What if I'm left all alone?
What if I think until there's nothing left to think about?
What if I pick at the bone?
But it doesn't change a thing because I know Grady's never coming home
Last edited by mash71 at Jun 6, 2008,
#2
this is ok but you may want to make it longer to explain stuff like who "Grady" is and put alittle bit more thought into it.
And i think if you change the second line on the last stanza to make it rhyme it will flow better.


plz crit mine
FEAR