#1
Here's another new one I've been working on. Still not done, about 4:30 long so far...I feel this one going for at least 8 minutes. Anyways, a lot of the bass is unfinished, and i need to do the drums for the very last part, but any crits on how everything is so far are much appreciated

Edit: Sorry, there was a small tempo error haha, it's actually 5:20 now...I fixed it now.

Edit2: Updated file. Runs for about 9 minutes now. Still unfinished.

Edit3: Update number 2. Full length of the song is 11 minutes. Still unfinished in terms of bass and some parts that need rewriting.

Edit4: Update number 3. Finished the bass for the song. Still need to rewrite one small section.

Edit5: Updated the final version. Rewrote one section near the beginning, fixed a few minor flaws. Also altered the name to "The Lotus Tree"
Attachments:
The Lotus Tree.zip
Alta Vera - My real life alternative rock band.
Ashen Spire - My personal metal band.

Super Mario, F-Zero & Dragonball Z covers!

PSN: whatev27

Let me ask you, does a machine like yourself ever experience fear?

Last edited by NovemberRain273 at Jun 8, 2008,
#2
aye, i feel that this should be longer.

it's fantastic, and really well put together. nothing less that we usually expect from you.

each part compliments each other. i just have to wait for the finished one now.
#3
Intro is very cool.
The next riff is nice and head-bangable. lol I like the lead... But I sort of wish it was something new.
I think the transition into the piano could be done better. I think you may have just missed something on the rhythm guitar, because the lead parts drop out and it's still going..?
Regardless, the piano part is very nice.. Beautiful, dark, sad, hopeful... It's got it all. =)
The guitar solo was excellent.
The acoustic parts are also very nice. Though, I think the transitions could be better off seamless.
At 172 the drum measures aren't complete.. Is that intentional? lol

Good job so far.. I remember the last piece I saw from you, so I have high hopes for this one. =)
#4
The first part, while good, had me worried. It was basically the same as Heir Apparent; doomy chord, lead enters. Luckily, you proved me wrong, and it was quite good.

The next heavy part... Is ok, but it doesnt work. At all. It ruins the doomy vibe of the first heavy part, and then when the piano comes in... It makes no sense. If it was me, I'd just completely ommit the second heavy part.

...The piano section, and solo however, are fantastic. The first acoustic is good, but after a while, it just plods on too long, and I was waiting for it to change to something heavier. The parts are good in and of themselves, but i think they should be spread out, with heavy parts in between or something.
Quote by MoogleRancha
It's like Fenriz and J. Read

"I'm so happy to love metal and stuff"

"I AM metal"
#5
Thanks alot for the crits guys! I'm definitely taking them into consideration...I have an updated file up now, it runs for about 9 minutes and it's still not done! I really like the way this is turning out...Burning angel, i haven't replaced that one heavy riff yet, but i'm definitely thinking about it...but I can't interrupt the creative process right now i'll look into it again once i'm completely finished with the song.

Thanks again!
Alta Vera - My real life alternative rock band.
Ashen Spire - My personal metal band.

Super Mario, F-Zero & Dragonball Z covers!

PSN: whatev27

Let me ask you, does a machine like yourself ever experience fear?

#6
Fair enough, about the second heavy section. It carries the dark theme ok, and it does need a heavy part there.

The third heavy section, with the chord strumming (actually, the acoustic version of that too), would sound much better with out the strum arrows (like... the up/down strums). The heavy section after that is great. Very Orchid.

The next mellow section is really eerie, good job there.

Great transition into the chuggy part. It works quite well, sounds cool too. Almost reminds me of Heir Apparent again. The little acoustic break is awesome, as is the heavy version after it. The solo is ****ing excellent.

Only gripe I have, other than that one heavy part, is still... I'm just not sure about the second heavy section.
Quote by MoogleRancha
It's like Fenriz and J. Read

"I'm so happy to love metal and stuff"

"I AM metal"
#7
Haha thanks dude! Well, there's another updated file there now. Length wise, the song is finally done, at a mighty 11 minutes long! Now I still need to do the bass at some parts as well as look into those parts that need rewriting Also about the strumming thing, it's just guitar pro that makes it sound like that so I guess it doesn't really matter

Thanks!

EDIT: the bass is actually finished now, all i need to do is rewrite that one section, but I'm leaving now so i'll have to do it when i come back.

EDIT2: Alright, the final version is now up! I rewrote that one section, hopefully it suits the song more now! I also editted a few minor flaws, such as one transition as well as a small change in the tempo of some parts. The name is different now too: The Lotus Tree.

EDIT3: I'm now in the process of recording it. I really wanna do this one right, so I'm not gonna rush it. Plus the fact that these two weeks are going to be some of the most hectic ever doesn't help much
Alta Vera - My real life alternative rock band.
Ashen Spire - My personal metal band.

Super Mario, F-Zero & Dragonball Z covers!

PSN: whatev27

Let me ask you, does a machine like yourself ever experience fear?

#8
Critting as i listen, I thought your intro was guna be a fluke but when that 3rd guitar came in You made it work for you hehe. The Piano sounds so gloomy but beautiful. When the Jazz guitar comes in fits well but you seem too have a cliff hanger at 114 for the jazz guitar. Very interesting acoustic guitar at 134 to 154 May sound awesome on a real acoustic guitar but midi made it sound a bit generic. Waw most of your acoustic parts sound dark hehe. Very amazing and memorable solo was 289-301 The Acoustic part stuck great after that solo hehe. The Re-Intro fade in and out was cool . Since its done i wont cramp your style and bash your head in with un-necisary polishing. Sounds great the way it is don't change it lol. Swell JOb! If you can crit my other song down there i would appreciate it
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=858415
Click My Library to see what I've written

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#9
The parts in and of themselves were great, but the lack of any sort of transition between any two separate parts of the song really killed it for me. It's like a bunch of different songs all put into the same key next to each other.
#10
Hmmm alright thank for the crits guys! I'll definitely look into them.
Alta Vera - My real life alternative rock band.
Ashen Spire - My personal metal band.

Super Mario, F-Zero & Dragonball Z covers!

PSN: whatev27

Let me ask you, does a machine like yourself ever experience fear?

#11
I'm pretty much in unison with what Tree Siks said. I mean, each part is like, the work of a genius. But they didn't fit. I mean, you have this beatuful piano section, which was personally my favourite section (especially the guitar solo going through it in the middle), but then you had that acoustic section thing, which really didn't fit in at all. Alot of the riffs just don't seem to be similar style.

But it does work if you see it as trying to tell a story, its the sort of song you'd probably see in a musical imo, as it goes through all sorts of various emotions.

8/10 for me, just needs a little rearanging and thats all. Oh and I think the drumming is kickass xD

care to crit mine? http://ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=881531
#12
Hmmm I don't really get why most people find the parts too....different. I dunno, it may be a matter of taste, but I really like bands with this sort of style...ANyways, to each his own right? Thanks for the crit!
Alta Vera - My real life alternative rock band.
Ashen Spire - My personal metal band.

Super Mario, F-Zero & Dragonball Z covers!

PSN: whatev27

Let me ask you, does a machine like yourself ever experience fear?

#13
wow
that was freaking awesome
i know how much trouble it is to write things over 7ish minutes long in guitar pro, but you might have had it easyier, with only 8 tracks, haha

overall, it went great, flowed perfectly to me, and sounded amazing
my only real complaint through the whole thing was the strumming on the acoustic, it should have been a faster strum like a 32nd or a 64th, so that it didnt sound bad the constant again and again

the other complaint, was the solo, wasnt very very memorable, mabey its just tonight, but solos arent really doing it in this style to me, dunno why, but it was written well

other than that, an amazing and epic song, very dark and morbid, i loved it, was a great one to listen to with nothing else on in the room

overall
an 11/10
only becasue i know its a severe pain to tab that much out in gp

c4c?https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=875773
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#14
Wow.

Nothing constructive to say. Well you could slightly increase the downstroke speed of the acoustic part, but yeah in the scope of things it's basically perfect. I listened to the song in it's entirety. 11 minutes of midi, that's a statement in itself.

That Piano part, and the clean solo are right up my alley. Love that kind of stuff.
#15
Thanks for the crits guys!

The acoustic stroking will definitely sound a lot better when i record it (that is...if i find time)
Alta Vera - My real life alternative rock band.
Ashen Spire - My personal metal band.

Super Mario, F-Zero & Dragonball Z covers!

PSN: whatev27

Let me ask you, does a machine like yourself ever experience fear?