#1
C4C. Leave link.

It’s always past midnight, when my muse comes down on me
and says: “tonight you won’t sleep, so you better write down
something with an effect of a lullaby”. And I do so.

I grab my guitar, and even though its old strings are rusty,
(and sound so), they come out so virtuoso that I have no chance
but to let arpeggios flow in the silence of the night.

Caring about the noise I make in this seven floor apartment,
notes come like whispers, like the ones she shoves in my ears,
while caressing my hair with gentle hand moves. She soothes
my headache of a couple of sleepless nights. “Insomniac times
we live in…” she says. I mutely agree, and keep on playing.

Freestyled lyrics come out of my mouth, while she tapes them
in an ancient recorder she calls “Memento”. Then, she rewinds
and replays each and every song until the achieving of perfection.

When I do so, she kisses me goodnight and tucks the pillow
in my head. Then, when she’s about to leave me to my desired
sleep, she screams in an angelic chorus: “GOOD MORNING!”

My room disintegrates, walls fall down, posters ripped, TV breaks,
PC explodes, blinds are opened, eyes are blinded, insomnia welcomed…
#2
Thats certainly different from many work's I've seen. And, as one guy once said to me, thats what you have to aim for! If you have created something original, you have succeded.
On the other hand, some of the words you use, such as "notes come like whispers, like the ones she shoves in my ears," is irratic and fatigued.
One thing to notice that may not of seen is, its a little pretentious. Your talking about "achieving perfection" and "freestyling" lyrics while "she" looks on in admiration. Thats the way it comes across to me. Someone else could have a totally different outlook on it though.
I love the way you end it. I can imagine the feeling you have. I used to have insomnia, I still have it now and then (its not called insomnia then though, its just called sleepless nights once or twice every two weeks) And I can relate to the very very weird feeling it gives you. Hearing the birds sing at five in the morning and still lying there, wide awake, really does knock you into a realm of uncertainty and exploration. But also disintegration,j ust how you described it.
#4
Maybe you don't mean for me to give some more feedback but I want to In your opening line, "It’s always past midnight, when my muse comes down on me", maybe you could use words that flow a little smoother than "when my comes down on me"; maybe something more poetic and impactful. Like as if crashes on you, and almost destroys you.
I love the way you altered the phrasings around in this: "so you better write down something with an effect of a lullaby," ...."until the achieving of perfection." In my native tongue, that is a very odd way to express what you are obviously trying to say. But I love that about this. Its not your average tongue.
"Tucks the pillow in my head" - Great line.