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#1
I got poison oak all over my hands a few days ago, and I really couldn't resist masturbating so I had to do it, I tried to cover up my hands as much as possible, but I think some got through, and I noticed some red bumps growing INSIDE, I tried to piss and it hurts so bad. What I am going to do???
#2
Do a barrel roll. But in all seriousness, stay away from UG for medical advice
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#5
Terrible. I would go to a doctor asap.
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#6
Or sommething!
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#11
couldn't you like...wash your hands?
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#12
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um "i cum blood" Cannibal Corpse. anyone?


Finally a legit reason
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#16
hahahah

idiot. pwned
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#17
Quote by XxLloydxX
couldn't you like...wash your hands?


It is poison oak, try washing that off!

#18
what the hell man, you seriously could not resist masturbating for however long poison oak takes to wear off? great display of a strong willpower. But, on a lighter note, youre ****ed.... but hey, judging from what you just said youll probably try to wank it again anway
#19
lol n00b!
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#21
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I smell a troll. Its hardly even possible to get owned that hard.

Well, he COULD have decided to create an account after years of lurking because this hilarious thing just happened to him.


edit: Just saw the pic:.............................lol
#22
successful troll was successful
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#24
Quote by Reach_ForLife
It is poison oak, try washing that off!


you masterbated with THAT!!!???
Quote by Vagabond21
Ewww the searchbar is a slut, it gets used everyday...

Quote by tremeloud

The brain says "hey, lets be friends" and the dick says "hey, lets get those clothes off, eh?"

Quote by Nilpferdkoenig
Yeaaaaaah, Huuuuuhuuuu, Saaaaaaah and MASTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR are all Hetfield memes.
#25
Oh my god.

This is the highest degree of pwned ever before reached by a person. I bow to your stupidity.
#26
Quote by magnum1117
you masterbated with THAT!!!???


That is not actually my hand, that is one I found on the internet real quick. Mine isn't quite that bad, but it is all in between the fingers and a bit on the palm, not on the back of the hand.
#28
Quote by Reach_ForLife
That is not actually my hand, that is one I found on the internet real quick. Mine isn't quite that bad, but it is all in between the fingers and a bit on the palm, not on the back of the hand.

Take a real pic.


liar.
#29
Start thinking of what you want on your head stone. I personally would go with "I asked UG instead of a doctor."
#31
what a dork!!!
My pedalboard is worth more than my car, but that doesn't say much for either.
#32
umm, doctor? man, i'd bee crying if this happenned to me. i read about it, and theres a 95% chance you will need amputation
#33
Quote by Reach_ForLife
That is not actually my hand, that is one I found on the internet real quick. Mine isn't quite that bad, but it is all in between the fingers and a bit on the palm, not on the back of the hand.

i see then...but holy **** you don't have willpower dude!
Quote by Vagabond21
Ewww the searchbar is a slut, it gets used everyday...

Quote by tremeloud

The brain says "hey, lets be friends" and the dick says "hey, lets get those clothes off, eh?"

Quote by Nilpferdkoenig
Yeaaaaaah, Huuuuuhuuuu, Saaaaaaah and MASTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR are all Hetfield memes.
#34
Maybe, if you do it again, it will cancel it out, kinda like when you flip a light switch to turn a light on but then you flip it again and the light turns back off.

Try it, I'm sure it will solve your problem!


Or the head of your penis will swell up to the size of a small grapefruit.
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#37
You seriously could not wait 'till it cleared up?? How bad of urges to you get that you would do such a plain stupid thing?

But i dont know how to help, sorry. I've never had expirence in that sort of thing. =/
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#38
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The troll reveals himself!
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