#1
My drummer for my band won't pull his head out of his ass, and constantly wants to call the shots, even though he couldn't tell crap from applesauce. Problem is, he's the only drummer in the area who has a drumset and likes our genre. What do I do?
#2
Friend or not a friend?

Either one changes how you do what you have to do.
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#3
This is a shot in the dark, but he probably has that attitude because he knows he's the only drummer in the area with a set and a genre.

My advice: talk to the other members. See how you want to handle it. Do you want to confront him and ask him why he's trying to call the shots? Or do you just want to give him a take it or leave it speech? But since your options aren't great for a replacement, you'll have to tread lightly if you wish to remain a band.

Unless you get a drum machine.

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#4
invariably the answer is yes
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#5
Quote by BaffAttack
This is a shot in the dark, but he probably has that attitude because he knows he's the only drummer in the area with a set and a genre.

My advice: talk to the other members. See how you want to handle it. Do you want to confront him and ask him why he's trying to call the shots? Or do you just want to give him a take it or leave it speech? But since your options aren't great for a replacement, you'll have to tread lightly if you wish to remain a band.

Unless you get a drum machine.


Agreed.

Also, what AboveTheBridge asked about whether you consider him as a friend or not is very important, if you generaly can't get on with the guy anyway, regardless of the band situation, I'd advise you to say g'bye to the guy and get a drum machine for the moment but keep looking for another drummer. One will turn up eventualy.
If you do consider him as a friend, then confront him as a band and tell him that you all have a problem with him trying to call the shots all the time. He'll either comply (which solves your problem) or take offence and leave (which gives you the opprtunity to improve the band)
Either way you win.
Last edited by SlackerBabbath at Jun 9, 2008,
#7
Im in a similar situation lads, except he likes country, he owns the van and he hates my gf!

What do i do?
#8
How much of this is clashing egos? Does the rest of the band agree with you? No offense, but from your post you seem to be a bit of an egomaniac and control freak--you don't mention other band members' take on the drummer, call him "my drummer" and it "my band" say should "I fire" him instead of "we" etc. Talk to your other bandmates first and foremost. Maybe the drummer is no bigger a problem then you are in their eyes, and you both need to learn to be a better part of the group by listening to everyone's input a bit more.
#9
When you say he wants to call the shots, do you mean he must have the shots called, or else he will refuse to do something?
#10
The most important thing to do is to talk to the other guys in the band. As it happens, the drummer in the band im in is the most musically advanced and as such we all look to him for advice and as the general leader.

If the other guys dont see the problem with the drummer, perhaps its you that is the problem and you oughtta leave yourself.

Also, if you dont condsider him a friend, youd do best removing either him or yourself from the equation, as its just gonna end up as an unsolvable quadratic otherwise.

In otherwords, unless you are all friends its never gonna work.
#11
If you do decide to kick him, make sure you have a back up before you do. You don't want to be drummerless for too long.

A back up includes a drum machine btw.
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#12
I would say you need a system for decisions in your band. The band I've had for a while, we decide things very democratically. All three of us must agree before we make a major decision

you should talk to all your band and see what they think about how to decide things. a pure democratic way may not be best for your band.
#13
Quote by SlackerBabbath
I'd advise you to say g'bye to the guy and get a drum machine for the moment but keep looking for another drummer.



Getting a drum machine is NEVER THE ANSWER.


Have someone play the goddamn congos in the background, just no drum machines.
#14
Quote by dullsilver_mike
How much of this is clashing egos? Does the rest of the band agree with you? No offense, but from your post you seem to be a bit of an egomaniac and control freak--you don't mention other band members' take on the drummer, call him "my drummer" and it "my band" say should "I fire" him instead of "we" etc. Talk to your other bandmates first and foremost. Maybe the drummer is no bigger a problem then you are in their eyes, and you both need to learn to be a better part of the group by listening to everyone's input a bit more.


i apologize for not wording that right. everyone in the band agrees with me that he's a bit of an egomaniac. also, to answer a previous question, he is a friend. that is what makes this so difficult, cause we don't want to jeopardize that
#17
Quote by Aveks
Getting a drum machine is NEVER THE ANSWER.


Have someone play the goddamn congos in the background, just no drum machines.

Why not?
I know a couple of bands that have successfully played many gigs with a drum machine. Modern drum machines can be practicaly indistinguishable from a real drummer, or are you more concerned with image?
Last edited by SlackerBabbath at Jun 10, 2008,
#19
Quote by azz_kikr92
image, and we are trying to pull. i think it is stuck in his colon


Try butter, my mum always used it as a lubricant whenever I got my head stuck in something.
Last edited by SlackerBabbath at Jun 10, 2008,
#20
Quote by azz_kikr92
i apologize for not wording that right. everyone in the band agrees with me that he's a bit of an egomaniac. also, to answer a previous question, he is a friend. that is what makes this so difficult, cause we don't want to jeopardize that


well if this is the case, before you do anything else, have the whole band confront him in a serious but not nasty or belittling way. There's always a chance that a little reality check will put him in line, especially if you emphasize that him being a control freak is hindering the band and making things not fun for everyone else, calmly explaining this to him is not garunteed to fix things, but if he is just getting carried away with excitement over the band, rather than simply having a huge ego, it might do the trick.