#1
I'm going to be a junior in high school and after 2 years, this is how i feel about it.

Reckless

Haven't you heard?
We are reckless in every sense of the word.

Aren't you scared
That we're broken way beyond repair?

You can easily see
We are self indulgent, worthless, and carefree.

But I can say
I wouldn't have it any other way.
Last edited by private at Jun 8, 2008,
#2
Good flow, didn't like the subject. The reckless person didn't really play a role other than being reckless. It's just him bragging, sort of. First two lines though, I was instantly hooked.

Crit mine in my sig?
#3
This poem does a nice job of describing what is normally known as Senioritis, though in this case I guess it would be Sophomoritis. I'm going to be a senior next year so I know the feeling
On the eight day we spoke back...

let there be sound.
#5
Perfect! I loved this. When I read this, I thought... sarcasm... satire... golden. This is epic. If you could lengthen this and do some sort of spoken word thing, that would be incredible. I love this. Keep on keepin' on!

And critique mine if you don't mind.
#6
Wow, I'm sorry. I thought I posted a critique to this awhile ago. My browser must've farted out on me (it does that sometimes (a lot lately, even)).

Well, let's try to recapture the magic.

"Haven't you heard?
We are reckless in every sense of the word.

The rhythm gets chopped right at the beginning, so it makes me question the writer's ability. The second line seems to have one syllable too many. Hmm but this is my favorite one, it has a lot to it.

Aren't you scared
That we're broken way beyond repair?

This was okayy. I dunno, when I first read it, I kinda didn't like it, but it grew on me.

You can easily see
We are self indulgent, worthless, and carefree.

"Self-indulgent" does seem to fit. I'd throw in a two-syllable word, rather than that four-syllabled-mac-daddy of a word. Or you could even omit "worthless." Irony. x'D

But I can say
I wouldn't have it any other way."

A cute way to end it, but I didn't care for it much. =P


On the whole, it was pretty good. I think the second lines had too many syllables, but it may have just been the way I was reading it.

Thanks for your words on mine.