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#1
A few days ago I had my gf at my house and we were making out in my room, we couldn't **** because my mom kept walking around the house and i had to leave the door open. So we decide to go swimming in the creek behind my house. We're in the water and I've been nailin her for like 2 minutes and I feel something weird on my nuts. I feel my balls and jump off of her and there is a leach clinched on to my ball sack. Neither one of us knew how to get it off, so we go back to the house and I have to pull out my nuts and let my parents put salt on my balls and remove this ****ing leach. As they are removing the leech and my balls are bleeding from the thing sucking my blood, my dad brings up the fact that my **** is greasy and my mom sniffs my **** and says yes he had a rubber on and then have a nice sex talk with me and the gf.
#4



AWKWARD

Um... I came home parroed from half a bottle of scotch in 2 hours the other day and my rents looked after me. The next morning was really awkward.
Need Singing Advice?; Read the first page then ask questions.

Quote by punkman_123
Damn Auals, you're messed up. :P


Quote by ZanasCross
This just reminded me of the time that my brother in law texted his mom on the night after his wedding. All it said was "Consummated."
#5
Quote by MoshMaster101
lol your mum sniffed your ****. She wants it.

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

My first thought was sig. And then i realised it would be too funny and weird.
Need Singing Advice?; Read the first page then ask questions.

Quote by punkman_123
Damn Auals, you're messed up. :P


Quote by ZanasCross
This just reminded me of the time that my brother in law texted his mom on the night after his wedding. All it said was "Consummated."
#6
I don't get parents when they do stuff like this. They probably did way worse **** back in the 70s or whenever they were young.

My dad used to go out drinking and partying and gigging 24/7 when he was my age so he understands me.

I think you should sit your parents down and give them a right talking to about this.
#8
Quote by Auals

Um... I came home parroed from half a bottle of scotch in 2 hours the other day and my rents looked after me. The next morning was really awkward.


God, I hate coming back in a state and waking the rents up. Next morning blows.
#9
Quote by Chinfrim
Whut? Your Mom Sniffed your Jewels.



yeh and my gf was like right next to me.....
#11
You should've slapped her in the face with your dick and then proceeded with wincest.
Quote by Vornik
Thanks for the advice. I'm going to put it, along with your other advice, into a book, the pages of which I will then use to wipe my ass.
#12
Quote by AfricaKorps
yeh and my gf was like right next to me.....

Was she jealous that you have such a close, close bond with your mother?
#14
Quote by dann_blood
You should've slapped her in the face with your dick and then proceeded with wincest.


That's disgusting dude, she's my mom.
#16
lol gutting.

what my parents don't know doesn't hurt me
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#17
its not that akward, just keep remindin urself that it used to be inside her
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the lord of sexyness...
#18
Why didnt you just pull the leech off?!!?
Quote by boreamor
Ah very good point. Charlie__flynn, you've out smarted me


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#20
One time...I was doin' it in the Nile river, and then I realised I had an alligator on my balls...then my dad had to pry it's jaws apart.
#22
Quote by Aikoe
One time...I was doin' it in the Nile river, and then I realised I had an alligator on my balls...then my dad had to pry it's jaws apart.

I bet your mum didn't sniff your wang, though.
#23
Quote by AfricaKorps
That's disgusting dude, she's my mom.


Return the favour, she had to take a leech off your balls. Don't be rude.
Quote by Vornik
Thanks for the advice. I'm going to put it, along with your other advice, into a book, the pages of which I will then use to wipe my ass.
#25
Quote by AfricaKorps
That's disgusting dude, she's my mom.


Remember that this is The Pit, after all, you weren't expecting intelligent replys, were you ?
#26
I can't believe no one has called BS.

I call BS. Who the **** takes their dick out in front of their parents? Even WITH a leech sucking out sperm.
PPPPPPPOSTFINDER
#28
Quote by dann_blood
You should've slapped her in the face with your dick and then proceeded with wincest.

Bahaha +1
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#29
I call BS too. His mum sniffed his cock?
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#30
Quote by breadstick
I can't believe no one has called BS.

I call BS. Who the **** takes their dick out in front of their parents? Even WITH a leech sucking out sperm.


Obviously you have never been in such a dire position. It's dark, damp, and cold, and there's a ****ing leach stuck on your nuts. What are you going to do? Take a plier to your jewels? And I couldn't have gone to the hospital, I had to get back to my dorms the next day to study for my finals.
#31
so am i the only one who is disgusted at the thought of fornication in a creek?....
I mean..."here sweetheart, some mosquito babies for your vagina?"
*shivers*

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Last edited by New_Crisis at Jun 9, 2008,
#32
Quote by AfricaKorps
Obviously you have never been in such a dire position. It's dark, damp, and cold, and there's a ****ing leach stuck on your nuts. What are you going to do? Take a plier to your jewels? And I couldn't have gone to the hospital, I had to get back to my dorms the next day to study for my finals.

Honestly, I know how you feel, man.

This one time I was screwing your mum and your dad came up and bit me on the ballsack.
#33
Wow, your mum sniffed your ****?! What the **** man?!

I'd slap her if she did that, and I would've tried to remove the leech myself.
#34
I think a lot of people are missing the point here.

Who the hell bones in a creek? A CREEK!?



You don't have a leech, son. You have hundreds of baby mosquitos in your girlfriends vagina.

Have a happy relationship.
When you saw me sleeping
thought I was dreaming
of you...


I didn't tell you
That the only dream
Is Valium for me
#35
Quote by New_Crisis
so am i the only one who is disgusted at the thought of fornication in a creek?....
I mean..."here sweetheart, some mosquito babies for your vagina?"
*shivers*


+1 Not in a million ****ing years.
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#38
Quote by AfricaKorps
lets stop fockusing on my story and veertyone share there's!

First of all, learn to spell or you'll be eaten alive here.

Secondly, there's already a thread about being caught doing something.

Seachbar n00b. Oh, might wanna start using that or you'll die too.
When you saw me sleeping
thought I was dreaming
of you...


I didn't tell you
That the only dream
Is Valium for me
#39
well...i can't honestly say that I'm gross enough to **** in an insect utopia.....so i have no stories for you my sir. I **** inside....or in a POOL.

Check out my band! Endeavor


Fender American Deluxe Telecaster (little 59')
Peavey 5150 II
Orange PPC412
Boss NS-2
Boss DD-3
Monster Power Pro 900
Korg Pitchblack Pro
Sennheiser EW 172 Wireless
Carvin 6 space rack
#40
Quote by Td_Nights
First of all, learn to spell or you'll be eaten alive here.

Secondly, there's already a thread about being caught doing something.

Seachbar n00b. Oh, might wanna start using that or you'll die too.


to your's informations, i can spell perfectly good. aswell, i know how to use searchbar, so don't call me noob and i cannot die
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