#1
For anyone who wants an idea of how it sounds, the verse progression is A, E7, and well, the rest is kinda complicated. See if you can guess what the song's about. If you guess right, well, congratulations, I guess.

Beggars can't be choosers
When I win I'm still a loser
And I guess I gotta do this alone

This **** don't seem right
But later on it might
And I guess it's time to go back home

But when I come back knocking on your door
Don't say you don't know what it's for
I'm coming.......
I'm coming.......
Here I come

What a lovely woman now,
Such a lovely woman
Drive me right outta my mind

Played me like a tool
And she said I was a fool
But I was only being kind

And when I come back crawling to your door
Don't watch me lying on the floor
I'm coming.......
I'm coming.......
Here I come

I'm not asking much
So don't be thinking such
And I'd be glad just to let you be

Only thing I want, yeah
All I really want's
Every ****ing thing you took from me

I'm a lowly man, now
Such a sorry man
But I gotta keep living today

'Cause the sun is shining
and the whole world feels like mine and
I'd kinda like to keep it that way

But it's so hard to feel that sun on my back
When I'm always under your attack
I'm coming........
I'm coming........
Here I come
#2
For anyone who wants an idea of how it sounds, the verse progression is A, E7, and well, the rest is kinda complicated. See if you can guess what the song's about. If you guess right, well, congratulations, I guess.

Beggars can't be choosers
When I win I'm still a loser
And I guess I gotta do this alone

The first too lines flow well. The third line sets up some good foreshadowing for the rest of the piece. I like it.

This **** don't seem right
But later on it might
And I guess it's time to go back home

The first two lines don't flow and the rhyme feels really forced. Reword em or scrap em, its your choice.

But when I come back knocking on your door
Don't say you don't know what it's for
I'm coming.......
I'm coming.......
Here I come

Good stanza

What a lovely woman now,
Such a lovely woman
Drive me right outta my mind

Played me like a tool
And she said I was a fool
But I was only being kind

I like most of the stanza, but starting a sentence with and always feels weird. Reword the line maybe?

And when I come back crawling to your door
Don't watch me lying on the floor
I'm coming.......
I'm coming.......
Here I come

I'm not asking much
So don't be thinking such
And I'd be glad just to let you be

Only thing I want, yeah
All I really want's
Every ****ing thing you took from me

I'm a lowly man, now
Such a sorry man
But I gotta keep living today

'Cause the sun is shining
and the whole world feels like mine and
I'd kinda like to keep it that way

But it's so hard to feel that sun on my back
When I'm always under your attack
I'm coming........
I'm coming........
Here I come

Sorry, that's all I have time for, solid piece.
Using satire to reveal truth since October 2007
#3
'Cause the sun is shining
and the whole world feels like mine and
I'd kinda like to keep it that way


I really liked this.