#1
alright i know this is a long one and its still not finished but im gonna cut it down when it is so tell what you think of it so far.


so it seems that it now proves true
something that i always knew
you aren't really in love with me are you?
deep down i've known it all along
but i hoped that i might be wrong
you aren't really in love with me are you?

i thought that with you i'd found someone
i'd seen the light,i'd found the sun
but you aren't really that person are you?
you seemed like you just stepped out of my dreams
then into my life,gave my spirit wings
but you aren't really that person are you?

you use your naivety as an excuse
but that isn't the whole of t he truth
you dont really care about me do you?
you say you want to be with me
but when i look around you're nowhere to see
you dont really care about me do you?

you say i mean the world to you
but you wont even make to time to prove
that i ever meant anything at all to you
i look forward to see where we're heading
nowhere!just like where we've been
did i ever mean anything at all to you?

maybe i ask too much
for you to give as much as i've given up
you dont really think about me do you?
you are always only concerned with yourself
use me when you're bored,then put me on the shelf
you dont really think about me do you?

empty and numb.i still smile on
now we're back where we begun
you never really were interested were you?
you know my pains,but you ignore them
unacknowledged,they're not a problem
you never really were interested were you?

my pain,my sorrow,my anger,my grief,
i bare all now to get some relief
you know all the pain you've caused dont you?
here is my soul bare for all to see
show the scars you've given my
this is MY cold and broken hallelujah!

theres more on the way...
ಠ_ಠ
<|>
/ω\



Tell me what nation on this earth, was not born of tragedy-Primordial
#3
^how constuctive
ಠ_ಠ
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/ω\



Tell me what nation on this earth, was not born of tragedy-Primordial
#4
Dont listen to him^, I think its ok to express your feelings in a song.
The main idea is ok, but Id take all those "do you's" and "are you's" I know its the title of the song, but I wouldnt repeat them so many times.
#5
im gonna cut a few of the verses out so it wont seem as repetitive then and i only came up with the title whan i went to type it up cos i dont usaully bother with titles til the song is finidhed
ಠ_ಠ
<|>
/ω\



Tell me what nation on this earth, was not born of tragedy-Primordial
#7
im gonna cut some of it out.what bits do you think i should?
ಠ_ಠ
<|>
/ω\



Tell me what nation on this earth, was not born of tragedy-Primordial
#8
i finally finished it.i decided to keep the length but group it differently

So it seems that it now proves true
something that I always knew
you aren't really in love with me are you?
Deep down I’ve known it all along
but I hoped that I might be wrong
you aren't really in love with me are you?
I thought that with you I’d found someone
I’d seen the light, I’d found the sun
but you aren't really that person are you?
You seemed like you just stepped out of my dreams
then into my life, gave my spirit wings
but you aren't really that person are you?

You use your naivety as an excuse
but that isn't the whole of t he truth
you don’t really care about me do you?
You say you want to be with me
but when I look around you're nowhere to see
you don’t really care about me do you?
you say I mean the world to you
but you wont even make to time to prove
that I ever meant anything at all to you
I look forward to see where we're heading
nowhere! Just like where we've been
did I ever mean anything at all to you?

Maybe I ask too much
for you to give as much as I’ve given up
you don’t really think about me do you?
You are always only concerned with yourself
use me when you're bored, then put me on the shelf
you don’t really think about me do you?
Empty and numb. I still smile on
now we're back where we begun
you never really were interested were you?
You know my pains, but you ignore them
unacknowledged, they’re not a problem
you never really were interested were you?

(Now) I stand alone by myself
You’re probably off with someone else
You’ve already forgotten about me haven’t you?
I carry the burden on my mind
The wounds haven’t healed after all this time
But you’ve already forgotten me, haven’t you?
Here is my soul bare for all to see
show the scars you've given me
this is MY cold and broken hallelujah!
my pain, my sorrow, my anger, my grief,
I bare all now to get some relief
I give all of my pain back to you.
ಠ_ಠ
<|>
/ω\



Tell me what nation on this earth, was not born of tragedy-Primordial