#1
I have a couple songs up in my bands profile if you want to see them they are blogs and my band is Catastrophic clizbomb we play hard rock and metal. I like this song so this is the one I decided to puty up tell me what you think of it.

(In the begining their is guitar and the lead singer does a quick scream)

Verse 1
a burning in my heart,

A fire in my soul,

Like a wounded beast,

I crawl into my hole,

All I feel is rage,

Someone let me free,

from my cage,

I can't begin,

(drums)

This creature within,



chorus

I am the beast,

thrown aside by society,

I am the beast,

From this trap I am free,

From these rage filled,

blood shot eyes,

I can not see,

What is wrong with me?!


Verse 2
domestic animal,

under human control,

these primitive urges to fight,

Devouring snarling aggression,

bloody fangs from when I bite,

So fearful of me,

I'm so angry at you,

So lock up your home and,

tell your children it just isnt true,

but yo ly awake at night,

knowing I'm coming for you,


[chorus]


we are afraid of things that cannot be explained,

this monster inside,

Is causing me pain,

I only can see,

that this beast is taking over me,

reverting to past instincts,

This change is not my will,

so many people,

that this beast must kill


[chorus]


bridge(exclamation marks means it is screamed)

Growling!

Snarling!

Howling!

I'm an animal,

What's inside of me?

What could this demon be?

Aggression,

Anger,

Rage,

These feelings never quit,

energy,

power,

desire,

why cant I control it?!


[chorus x 2]


Thats all tell me what you think and where it coulkd use improvement I'll try to use advice in songs to come.
#2
The bridge isn't working for me. I read it and it seems like there is something that doesn't flow too well. Maybe if I heard it with the music it would flow better. Other than that it's a great read.
#3
Ya the brdge is the only place that I felt needed improvement but I'm still open for more criticism.