#1
First post in awhile. Still suck as much as ever though.

Came home from curing the sick and solving world hunger one day
Turned on the TV, to watch an after-school special starring
A hero everyone could look up to.
He chain smoked and loved to leer at women.
He was indiscriminate,
Tall, Short, Fat
He loved them all, even if they were
just two legs and a hole

He taught us that if we set our standards low,
The world could be a much more beautiful place.

He got paid to dig holes, and then fill them in again.
Not that he was uneducated, in fact he was a genius.
He could've been a millionaire lawyer or some kind of surgeon.
But selfless as he was, he chose swim in a sea of monotony.

He taught us that anyone could be some asshole doctor,
But it takes a real man to run in circles.

He loved all his fellow men,
He championed rights for women too,
As long as they only used them in the kitchen.
He would wax poetic, and giving life lessons,
"Never judge another man", because their story might surprise you
Unless they're a fag, jewish or black,
because those books aren't worth reading.

He taught us that you should never throw the first stone,
Unless you don't plan on stopping.


I plan on returning any helpful comments, just leave a link.
Last edited by rush4life at Jun 11, 2008,
#2
First post in awhile. Still suck as much as ever though.
shut up.

i don't have much to say about this one.
the few things i see worth mentioning are just a matter of taste.


I came home from curing the sick and solving world hunger one day
And turned on the TV, to watch an after-school special starring
i'd drop I from the first line, and and starring from the second.
full-stop at the end of each.
breaking this into fragments would set a more conversational tone during the introduction.

A hero everyone could look up to.
He chain smoked and loved to leer at women.
He was indiscriminate,
Tall, Short, Fat
He loved them all, even if they were
just two legs and a hole
disgusting. wonderfully disgusting.

He taught us that if we set our standards low,
The world could be a much more beautiful place.

He got paid to dig holes, and then fill them in again.
Not that he was uneducated, in fact he was a genius.
He could've been a millionaire lawyer or some kind of surgeon.
But selfless as he was, he chose swim in a sea of monotony.

He taught us that you could be some asshole doctor,
But it takes a real man to run in circles.

He loved all his fellow men,
He championed rights for women too,
As long as they only used them in the kitchen.
He would wax poetic, and giving life lessons,
"Never judge another man", because their story might surprise you
Unless they're a fag, jewish or black,
because those books aren't worth reading.
i liked the reference to the cliche without actually saying it.

He taught us that you should never throw the first stone,
Unless you don't plan on stopping.
nice spin to tie this up.
Meadows
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I release my inner liberal every morning when I take a shit.
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I wont be like those jerks who dedicate their beliefs to logic and reaosn.
#3
Thanks a lot, I'm just trying really hard to be a self-hating artist...

I'll edit out that beginning part and fix the rest.
#4
I have nothing to say about this, other than it made me smile and I liked it. Have a bump, and don't hate yourself .
There's only one thing we can do to thwart the plot of these albino shape-shifting lizard BITCHES!