#1
I made this song Cause I wanted to try something quirky random and fun,My main inspiration for this is The Vandals,and lately ive been bored outta my mind, I know its hard to judge a song by words alone, for im working on the actually guitar and bass parts as we speak and hopefully will get it on you tube or something,please leave comments or advice

"Bored" 220bpm Punk rock

beginning(soft)

Boredom is a trouble thing

Like butter sauce on chicken wings

Imagine all the stupids things

we do when were bored.

It seems like half the world would be a pretty face

with no disgrace if we all had that special place to be.....

Free of Boredom!!( Loud)


Lets think of all the things that make us laugh and entertain

with random hooks lines and gimmicks

me no write books like charles dickens

But hey why not? I'll give it a shot.


Cause Im looking like a total nut

to make my day a blast and such

with all my friends just cracking up

at jokes that make very little sense!?

Chorus:

Cause im bored cause im bored,

and want to exercise my thoughts

with words,****(same as poop lol) , and well grown farmer crops,

Like jason and the argonauts

I'll give it everything I got

to keep all people free......

OF BOREDOM!......

(soft)

Time Time don't go away,

I'll love you if you wish to stay

and help me keep my life going slow

Cause theres so much that I want to do

and can't get myself to conquer you

man my mind just won't let it go...

(loud)(solo section)

Im drooling on my thinking spot

like im hooked on beer or pot

Help me save the day and not

be crumbled by my own humanity.

Chorus

Free of boredom x3
"LIVE and LET DIE...."
#2
I'd like to hear it as a song, but it's fun. I like it The only thing: I don't see the point of adding **** (y'know) during the chorus. It doesn't make any sense to me at all... But good job!

Crit mine? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=881947
Last edited by O-52-A-50-R at Jun 10, 2008,
#3
this does look like you were bored when you wrote it. or at least uninspired.
there are moments here and there
where it looks like you might take an idea and run with it.
then it goes complete unexplored
and you begin to go off on another tangent.
it looks more like ADHD than bored, to me.
the chorus is dreadful.
Quote by ghostfern
Cause im bored cause im bored,
nice start, turning it back on itself.

and want to exercise my thoughts
blah.

with words,****(same as poop lol) , and well grown farmer crops,
if you wanna say shit, just say shit.
but the question is: what purpose does that serve in the line?
none that i can see.
farmer crops? lol wut?


Like jason and the argonauts
i see this more as a stretch to rhyme with got.
nothing else in the song references greek mythology, the argos, golden fleece or anything else related.


I'll give it everything I got

to keep all people free......

OF BOREDOM!......
our self-proclaimed hero seems to be more the problem than the solution.
most of this is random.
this brand of random = boring
you might be able to do something with this,
but as presented here, it ain't workin so well.
Meadows
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Last edited by SomeoneYouKnew at Jun 10, 2008,
#4
Quote by SomeoneYouKnew
this does look like you were bored when you wrote it. or at least uninspired.
there are moments here and there
where it looks like you might take an idea and run with it.
then it goes complete unexplored
and you begin to go off on another tangent.
it looks more like ADHD than bored, to me.
the chorus is dreadful.


In a way i guess i was inspired by my boredom,
haha adhd yea sort of but really i did want to try to hard with this song cause
other wise it would start to mean something,its more of a practice
of word play but anyway thank you for the comment
"LIVE and LET DIE...."
#5
I like the bits of hilariousness thrown through this song. You just need to add more!

Butter sauce on chicken wings = keeper.

When you said "imagine all the stupid things we do when we're bored," I wish you would've elaborated a little bit, cause that could have been funny.

me no write books like charles dickens = i love it

Cause Im looking like a total nut

to make my day a blast and such

with all my friends just cracking up

at jokes that make very little sense!?

I liked the first two lines. This weekend, my friends and I made asses of ourselves by running around town fighting with fake swords and blaring the Pirates of the Carribean soundtrack from my car. We had fun and entertained other people. Back to the song though, the last two lines were meh. I'd switch them out with something else. You've got a good sense of humor, you can do it.

Time Time don't go away,

I'll love you if you wish to stay

I liked this alot

be crumbled by my own humanity.

To be honest i hated this last line, sorry. I'd pursue something different with this last verse

I'm gonna disagree with the other people who posted on this thread, I think your piece shows promise, it's just got some stuff that needs working out. You said your main influence here is The Vandals, one of their most famous traits is how funny they are. I can tell you've got a sense of humor from what you posted, but don't be afraid to go all-out with it. There were a couple parts where you just started giving descriptions and stuff instead of goofing around, and those are the places where you lost me. Keep it up with the funniez."Me no write books like charles dickens."


If you feel like critting something, here's mine.
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=880680