#1
This is my first lyrical post...be that as it may, it is (of course) open ground for feedback of any type. Ill gladly look over some stuff from anyone else wishing for critiques.


Detach


Sheared, the sun's burned out.
Inertia, curtains down.
Trucks of letters in the mail
to chase the paper trail.


Take off the mask, turn down the air.
Silence the voices everywhere.
Calm stirs. Released, strained prayers roll away.
A blurred view, behind black tinted window frames.


Bright white.
Sirens.
Cherubs hug the stretcher, I can't decide
If I feel alive.


Snowblind sheeted streets, the idol stands
cut out like a cardboard paper man.
Bred to burn degrees, a coal-paved run;
perjury to prosper young.


Talk about it.
Step around it.
This frigid fear of wolves clawing at the door.
Come out come out, commit, refrain as the score.


A day one would wish to extend
raced, so the requiem could end.
Chauffered to shattered dividends.
The lungs defer, belief transcends.
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#2
I have no idea what it means, but I like it. The last stanza is stunning.
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I'll logic you right in the thyroid.

Art & Lutherie
#3
haha, the actual themes behind the song are pretty in-depth, while the setting is a death at a funeral, which was already in progress. any works youd like looked at?
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