#1
Basically, go in here
http://notalwaysright.com

Post the stupidest customer that you found .

Mines:

(We sell milk for 2.99 a gallon. Some kid pulled the “.” and the “9″ off so it says 29 dollars. Not surprisingly, a lady comes in to buy a gallon and hands me thirty dollars.)

Me: “Ma’am, you just gave me a twenty and 10 singles to buy milk. It’s only $2.99.”

Lady: “Well that’s not what the sign says! it says 29 dollars!”

Me: “But ma’am, you’re paying more money than it actually costs.”

Lady: “I don’t care how much it costs! Just do your job and give me my f**king milk for 29 dollars!”

Me: “Okay, If that’s what you want…” *gives her a dollar back*

Lady: “Thank you! If you had just done your job I would’ve been out of here by now!”

Me: “Have a great day!”


Customer: “This electronic key does not work in my car.”

Me: “Does it turn in the ignition?”

Customer: “Yes, but it will not start.”

(I put the original and copy key in my magic decoder box and they check out fine.)

Me: “Well, let me have a look… where is your car?”

Customer: “At home.”

Me: “Well, you have to drive it here.”

Customer: “But the key does not work.”

Me: “Use your original key.”

Customer: “That does not work either.”

Me: “Okay, let me explain how this works. I make a copy of your key. If your key does not work, then the new key will not work either.”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “Let me put it like this. If you copy a paper with misspelled words the copier will not correct the spelling, because it’s a copy! What happens when you try the key?”

Customer: “The dash says ‘Code not found’.”

Me: “Well, then the problem is the car, not the key. It is not reading the code on the key.”

Customer: “So make me another.”

Me: “The problem is the car. Are you going to pay when the next one does not work?”

Customer: “No, I’m not going to pay for a key that does not work!”

Me: “So you want me to keep making keys for you until one works or I run out of them. But you will not pay for any of the keys that do not work even though the problem is your car, not the key.”

Customer: “Yep.”

Me: “Sorry, I’m just not that stupid.”
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#2
well this isn't on the site but i work at a waterpark. a friend of mine was sending down people at the top of the slides one day, and someone asked him, "does this slide go down?"
Go Veg.
#3
Quote by Ralbert07
You are. "Stupidest" isn't a word.

Most stupid is the correct term.


I'll check it out.

Sorry, but according to Google, the Firefox Spelling Mistakes checker, and Babylon, you just failed. Hard.
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#4
Quote by im not mental
well this isn't on the site but i work at a waterpark. a friend of mine was sending down people at the top of the slides one day, and someone asked him, "does this slide go down?"



"its called gravity"
I want to work in revelations, not just spin silly tales for money.I want to fish as deep down as possible into my own subconscious in the belief that once that far down, everyone will understand because they are the same that far down.
#5
Quote by Ralbert07
You are. "Stupidest" isn't a word.

Most stupid is the correct term.


I'll check it out.


"Stupidest" is most definitely a word, it's colloquial.
Quote by guitar_god22

thats about south africa tho...which isnt poor at all.
Quote by RyanInChains9
yea venezula is just the richest country in the world...
#7
I prefer the term more stupid...

On topic though, I used to work at a bakery with a shutter that slid from the roof to the floor. We used to close it half way when closing the bakery. I put a (very obvious) sign on said shutter saying "Sorry, we are closed".

A customer then came up, rattled on the shutter, and asked... well, I'm sure you can work it out.

A true facepalm moment!
#8
Me: “Hello, **** Bakery, **** speaking. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Hey, you sound tired.”

Me: “Um… yes? How may I help you?”

Customer: “Rough night last night? I heard you were busy.”

Me: “Sir?”

Customer: “Partying worn you out, huh? Well hopefully you aren’t too worn out when you come home, if you know what I mean.”

Me: “Sir, this is **** Bakery. I believe you’ve dialed the wrong number.”

Customer: “Well, s**t.”

Me: “… yes.”

Customer: “Do YOU want to come over later?”

Me: “No.” *click*
GHOST BLOWJOB!
WHOOO! WOOOOOOOOOOOO!
#9
Well, I just failed epically.

On to the real subject;


These people are ridiculously stupid. I mean rich-Californian-blonde stupid
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#10
I love this one, because what the guy behind the counter hasn't realised is that the customer is totally taking the piss. I am so going to do this to someone at Subway when I need a laugh.

(There is an incredibly long line in the store. A man who had recently gotten his order filled cuts to the front of the line and slams his sandwich on the counter.)

Customer: “I don’t know what’s wrong with you people… you don’t know how to make a sandwich! The people who worked here before knew how to make sandwiches!”

Me: “Um… excuse me?”

Customer: “The OTHER people always SQUISHED the sandwiches.”

(He holds up his sandwich.)

Customer: “LOOK AT THIS! How am I supposed to fit this in my mouth?”

Me: “Umm… wouldn’t it be just as easy if you–”

Customer: “NO! FIX IT!”

Me: “Okay…”

(I flatten the sandwich slightly.)

Me: “How’s that?”

Customer: “SQUISH IT!”

(I manage to smash the sandwich down to about a half an inch thick.)

Me: “Better?”

Customer: *takes the sandwich* “Well I guess you CAN learn.”
Quote by The devil at the crossroads
E|-------------------------------------------1--
B|-----------------------------------1--4--
G|-------------------------1-3-4--
D|------------------1-3----
A|--------1-2-3----
E|-1-4-----

Just move it around the fretboard
#11
Customer: “I bought a computer from you guys not 3 weeks ago, and my internet isn’t working.”

Me: “Well the computer itself seems to be operating perfectly…”

Customer: “It is NOT working perfectly. I cannot get on the internet. ”

Me: “I understand that; I just mean while the internet itself isn’t working, your computer is functioning properly.”

Customer: “My computer is worthless without internet.”

(Company policy is to direct her to her ISP for further assistance. So I try to get that info from her so I can give her a proper phone number.)

Customer: “Why don’t you just fix it?”

Me: “I’ve run out of things we can try.”

Customer: “What is the ISP going to do?”

Me: “They’ll walk you through a few things or at least tell you if there is an outage or other problems in your area.”

Customer: “I bought this computer from YOU and YOU should be the ones fixing it.”

Me: “It’s not the computer, it’s the internet. Unfortunately we’re not your internet provider. There’s really nothing more I can do for you.”

Customer: “How much do you charge for internet?”

Me: “We do not sell internet.”

Customer: “Than who do I buy my internet from?”

Me: “I don’t know. Verizon, perhaps?”

Customer: “I suppose I should order some internet.”

Me: “…you haven’t even signed up for it yet!?”

Customer: “I wanted to do it on the internet.”

Me: *head explodes*


Found on that website the OP mentioned