#1
I see her in her dress tonight
She's got that fire in her eyes
Im standing here too shocked to think
She changes shape in one eye's blink
Cuz I feel like I'm tripping
Speeding down a highway
As my lust is dripping
There just has to be some way....
Shes a goddess,
She puts a spell on me
Foul seductress
She's got her eye on me, some day wont she see...
She's a goddess
Shes tearing me apart
Young dutchess
She's got this heart trapped in a box,
Infatuation has its pox

I want her in these arms tonight
But she is still to young to bite
When the others shower her with glee
I wonder how she cannot see
Cuz she shoulda seen me running
Getting high on wanting
Wrapped around her finger
Taking on a monster.....
She's a goddess
She puts a spell on me
Foul seductress
She's got her eye on me, someday won't she see...
She's a goddess
Tearing me apart
Young dutchess
Shes got this heart trapped in a box,
Infatuation has its pox

She has me in her thorny bed
Those eyes are flaming scarlet red
And I just know shes got those teeth
Fastening my neck from underneath...

I feel those soft lips on my cheek
I'm so buzzed that I cannot speak
It feels like I'm falling asleep
Such a shame those perfumes you reap
Cuz I feel so astounded
Fighting the temptation
Hit away and grounded
She has to just get outa my sight....
She's a goddess
She puts a spell on me
Foul seductress
She's got her eye on me, someday won't she see....
She's a goddess
Tearing me apart
Young dutchess
She's got this heart trapped in a box,
Infatuation has its pox


Well, here's my newest and most ambitious poetic effort! I wrote it in two minutes at 2 in the morning.
#2
"She's got this heart trapped in a box" is a great refrain, thoguh I don't like the next line much. Also, starting off with an ABCC rhyme scheme is just, meh. Throws me off. I do like the connection between the first line of each stanza. Thought that was unique.

Crit mine in my sig, please?
#4
pretty decent man, its probably just me but i couldnt really catch the rythm, i understand the abcc rhyme but just waiting for as deeper meaning. but it would work very very well as a song! pretty good tho man crit mine?

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=882738
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