#1
It's along the lines of scream-o. The first part of each line,before the coma, is meant to be screamed. After the screaming it's just singing. The very last line is meant to be a whisper, barely audible. Constructive Criticism much appreciated and thank you all in advance.


The pain ,you bring to my head, I can't bear it
Fingers, like ice try to caress me
Your voice, an assault my ears can't stand

I scream, yet you ignore it
I flee,from your persistence
I flinch, from your death embrace

You chase, as if you need me
You lunge, like I am your prey
You laugh, at the sight of my distress

I shoot, the bullet pierces
You cry, it's out of pain
I laugh, what an occasion
As you stagger to your knees

I scream, yet you ignore it
I flee,from your persistence
I flinch, from your death embrace

You chase, as if you need me
You lunge, like I am your prey
You laugh, at the sight of my distress

The jail cell is my new found friend.
#2
i would call it Cheaters Justice!!!!!!!! lol. i like it i see what you mean by using the screaming but it just seems a bit repetitive ma bey its just me i listen to alot of hard rock but play alot of acoustics so its just mixed to me but either way i like keep upi the good work