#1
This is a punk song I'm workin' on. It's a Rancid/Bad Religion type tune. Crit 4 Crit.

Verse:
Two innocent kids found dead in a ditch
Murdered in cold blood
Did nothing to deserve their terrible fate
They were just at the wrong place at the wrong time
What causes people to do such terrible things?
What pushes them over the edge?
Is society too blame? I don't know
But I just can't understand
this sick, sick world I'm livin' in
And I don't think I ever will

Chorus:
It's a sick, sick world
With sick, sick people
Doin' sick, sick things
It's a sick, sick world!!!!

End for now...
With an irresistible blend of reggae induced hip-hop and catchy pop-punk hooks, Half Chance Heroes captivates audiences with their unique sound and energetic stage show. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T8bSU0u8uvM
Last edited by Descendent-182 at Jun 12, 2008,
#2
I think it would be an interesting thing to write about, but I don't think you did it justice. Not only is it waaaay short, but it doesn't say why or how the kids were killed or by who. It's just too vague.

And did you have a certain inspiration for this song (perhaps a news article or something) or did you just think it up? If you just thought it up I suggest doing some research to see if something like this ever happened. Maybe that'll make you get more ideas.

Check out "Louisiana Bayou" by Dave Matthews Band (Just google the lyrics.)the first verse about two boys who were killed because of drug money that they didn't pay. It's a very good example.

Hope this helps because I like the idea, stick with it.

Crit mine? (A couple links in my sig, pick one )