#1
Here's more of a hard rock song, in the vein of Deftones or something like that. And the bracketed things are to show the lyrics' role in the overall structure of the song.

Anew
[Verse]
I’ll stay
Stay away
Maybe you
Can see someday
I want
Want to go
To some place
You call home

Among the fires I have been for all this time
My escape I desire but never comes
I remember how you always knew
To start again I must begin anew

[Chorus]
Stop this inside
It’s all coming over and into you
Breathe the water
This next chance is all you'll ever
Know

[Verse]
These words
Reach within
But they can’t
Go far enough
If you
You could see
See what
What’s in me

I think it might lead to a change in mind
Unless you decide to close it off again
I’ve remembered what you said so long ago
So now I’m waiting for forever to come

[Chorus]
Stop this inside
It’s all coming over and into you
Breathe the water
This next chance is all you'll ever
Know

[Bridge, first time more spoken, building up, then repeated sung loudly]
All I think I want right now will never truly satisfy
What if you say, what if I die
All I really wanted was a place where I could feel this way
In passionate sea, meeting the sky

[Finish the song with the chorus...rinse and repeat]

It's been uploaded for a while...with some rough vocals, but you'll get a better idea if you listen, I guess: Here
#2
I'm sorry, but I've heard a thousand songs just like this. It's vague almost to the point of aimlessness...

Take something concrete--an experience, a conversation, a car ride--and build from there. This has no foundation.

All the best,
~Ed.
I owe a ton of people critiques.

If you're one of them, please PM me.

I have trouble keeping track.
#3
Good point...I was going off in a few different directions with this one. All but two of my song lyrics are written down, and all but one of those are in a missing notebook, so I'll post some of my better lyrics later. And I do have better lyrics.

EDIT: I found the notebook, so I'll post maybe two songs soon.