#1
I started writing this song at yesterdays rehearsel by sitting at the piano and pulling out these simple chords, I also started singing some lines which I wrote down and finished when I got home.

Today I was sitting around at my father's old Casio VZ-1 snytheziser just messing around with sounds. I opened up Audacity and recorded piano, strings, and added a synth solo above it. This made me finish the song. I know it's pretty simple but I didn't want it be too advanced, I wanted the focus to be on the lyrics.

Behind the Reflection

I'm looking through the broken glass
Before me
What do I see staring back at me
Vacant eyes
A broken man cries for help
But it's too late, he's in too deep

Drowning slowly
Falling, behind the reflection

The water is closing in
On me
As I take my dying breath
I repent
Shedding a tear for myself
One last time, before I say goodbye

Drowning slowly
Falling, behind the reflection
The tears keep pouring down
Drowning me, behind the reflection

What are you hiding
Behind that polished surface of yours
What will come pouring out
If we crack open that harsh exterior

[SPOKEN:]
"Even the sun has it's dark spots"
"Call me crazy, but I find flaws to be fullfulling... I find them to be perfection itself.
It's like a sketch, it might have a lot of flaws but it's packed with motion, and I
have always found that far more attractive than someone who doesen't have any
luggage to carry. If I wanted that I would date a plastic doll."
"Just because you can't see it, it doesen't meen the moon doesn't have a dark side."
"She's got this annoying habit that I hate... yet I love her for it. Without it she wouldn't be the woman I fell in love with, it would be someone else."
"Forgive me for my stupidity, I now know that it's too late for me to repent but I am truly sorry. I just hope that you will find it in your hear to forgive me. I love you."
"As always, in my darkest hours, I turned to the glass. Just as my father did before me and his before him. I guess I always saw it as some sort of sick, twisted, family tradition."
"We all feel darkness in our hearts from time to time. It's just part of being human."
"She's not a painting that you can polish. Take her for what she is - or leave."
"Love is not a walk in the park. Just like everything it has it's up, and it has it's downs. You can't just keep walking straight ahead."
"Eventually even the straightest line will skew."

Drowning slowly
Falling, behind the reflection
The tears keep pouring down
Drowning me, behind the reflection

The fire is fading now...


C4C!
Attachments:
Behind the Reflection.zip
#2
That music was pretty awesome and the words sound pretty deep, try and get a version with the lyrics sung on that backing track because that would be much cooler.
#4
that was quite an experience... deep lyrics, quite dark sounding... I presume the spoken text is located at the bridge? I'd love to hear the "real" version of this with lyrics, send me a PM when it's done, okay?

The heavier part at bar 77 was definitely my favourite part of the whole song.

The drums where well made, piano could be a bit louder (but that could be just my speakers that suppresses it)

the synth at the intro was cool, gave the song a bit.. modern feeling, if I may say so...

in overall a very well-made song, 9/10..
might give it a 10 if the lyrics reaches up to my expectations

C4C? in my sig
You like it
#8
Can you PM me when its done aswell? Or just open a new thread because I would really like to hear it.
#10
That was pretty wicked! Well done - the only thing I'd suggest you change would be the part after the first chorus with the tremelo picked guitar - I'd say just have single notes, or possible a powerchord or something, it sounded a bit too repetetive as it is. still, good enough to warrant a 9/10.

I liked the lyrics as well ^^.

If you want to critique mine, it's here - but no worries if you don't!
#12
Not really my cup of tea...
I thought it moved too slowly, which is probably what you intended, but it just bored me after a while... I did like the chorus though, the piano gave it a nice touch. The solo/interlude thing was allright as well, but nothing mind blowing (again, I don't think that was your intention...)
Overall this song just couldn't really keep me interested, but don't take that too seriously because I obviously have a very different taste in music than you do, so I don't really think my crit is actually worth something .

Crit mine (probably not your kind of thing though )?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=882956

grtz
#13
That was so beautiful. After listening to a lot of the compositions on here, I really needed that. So really, thank you. I agree that it did move quite slowly but to my ears thats just because of the lack of vocals in guitar pro and the difficulty of finding a beat without them. Which such a slow tempo you really gotta have 'em. So once this is recorded, please let us know! I can't really find anything wrong with this. It sounds very polished and you obviously had a vision and got it all down from your head which is impressive because I think a lot of people have trouble with that.

I realize this was more of a praise and less of a crit, but if you want to check out something of mine,

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=875308
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=877040
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=866572
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=859768

any one of those would be appreciated.
#15
Beautiful in it's simplicity. It builds up incredibly well, the transitions are all great. The verse at Bar 77 is great.

This song will really rely on the vocal track though, and if the recorded version turns out anything like I was imagining in my head, you'll have one hell of a song on your hands.
#16
Thanks, I will get to the critting and uploading of the gp4 once I get home

And yes, the lyrics/vocals are the most important part of this song . I just need to figure out the melody, and record it somehow.
#17
I trust your voice is somewhat awesome lol. Love the piano very sad and heartwarming. Like you i have a bunch of lyrics but no melody hehe. So its a tough thing to do and be original doing it haha. So good luck on your quest to find that original melody

Can u crit my acoustic song?
Still thinking of the melody in witch to write the lyrics for it :P
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=858415
Click My Library to see what I've written

My Library
#18
Haha, then I'm screwed =D Nah, I think I will demo it with my voice, at least. Will upload the GP4 soon, but first I need to get to the critting!

Oh, and btw, if you enjoyed this piece I would appreciate it if you checked out one of the other in my signature. Thanks!

EDIT:

The GP4 is now up!
Attachments:
GP4.zip
Last edited by Ceresz at Jun 15, 2008,