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#1
so in your opinion are overprotective parents just as bad as negligent parents?

for example you have parents that hardly see/ spend time with their kids. Their kids dont go home,and they hang out with bad company and become delinquents. But if you have over protective parents, their kids feel compelled to rebel, hence their kids hang out with bad company and become delinquents as well..

the latest statistics in a local paper show that most youth "gangsters" here come from a very good background, and were overprotected.

so what do you think??
#3
One of my friend's mom used to be so incredibly over-protective of him during elementary and middle school. He wouldn't be allowed to leave the house without a walkie talkie, usually could only stay out no more than an hour or so, was made to go everywhere with his mom, stuff like that. Now, he does what he wants, when he wants and doesn't give two-shits what she has to say. I think it's basically him getting back at her and also him finally feeling free.

In a nutshell I'd say yes, being over-protective can be just as bad as being negligent.
#4
Well as with most things, and extreme in either direction can be bad. So yeah I think overprotective parents are just as bad for child development as negligent parents. The trick is finding the good median.
#5
negligent parents kick ass. some of my freinds have them and they're way happier than i am with my overprotective ones
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#6
I think there needs to be a balance... Not overprotective but not negligent... Although if i had to choose one, i would choose overprotective and hope the kid doesnt want to be rebellious.
#7
i could say negligent parents can do more harm to a child than overprotective ones, but both can screw the kid up thou
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#8
you need the middle ground.

My 10 year old brother has a friend. His parents lost a child before that, and hence became very protective of this one, and kind of cut him off a little. I once took them up to the cricket nets, and bought them some ice cream when they were about 8, and he didn't even know how to eat an ice cream cone. It was kinda sad really. I felt bad that he never really was given a chance (at that point, he's got a lot more freedom to do stuff now) to do stuff that most other kids do.

Plus, overprotective parents will generally have the most ill kids.
#9
+ 1 humperdunk , i have been allowed at 1 sleepover in my life, whereas one of my friends mom allows him to do nearly everythin the **** he wants , he does well in school , parties a lot, has an overwhelming social life and so on.

tho, currently i have a deal with my parents that if i dont get caught with stupid **** during the summer ill get a new computer so im holding up pretty well by drinking as much as i can handle
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#10
I know people with terrible parents that are fanstastic people,and I know people with great parents that get into a lot of illegal stuff. But it also works the opposite of that too at times.
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#11
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you need the middle ground.

This.

I think they're as bad as each other though - if the outcome is the same.
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#12
Aren't overprotective parents negligent parents in a way?
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#13
the difference is that the ones with negligent parents become smart delinquints because they learn the hard way; ones with over protective parents just become angry stupid delinquints because they just rebel cause they dont know what else to do.

the best thing for a child is to just have parents that show love and all that crap but give them space to explore and if they do something bad then so be it; then they have learned a lesson.
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#14
oh yeaah, my parents have been super overprotective but i think theyve failed, alcohol, tobaccoproducts and soft drugs are all a part of my life.
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#15
Over protective parents can do worse than neglectful parents, for example parents who feed their childrens' bad eating habits and leads them to weight problems. Those parents must have mental issues. If your child is getting fat stop feeding it crap so much?
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#16
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Over protective parents can do worse than neglectful parents, for example parents who feed their childrens' bad eating habits and leads them to weight problems. Those parents must have mental issues. If your child is getting fat stop feeding it crap so much?


Surely overfeeding is more neglectful than overprotective?
#17
anal parents should know that they do more harm then good. no sleepovers? no hanging out with friends unless they are there? these kinds of things make the kid not able to socialize which does immense harm to their self-esteem.
#18
Quote by happytimeharry
One of my friend's mom used to be so incredibly over-protective of him during elementary and middle school. He wouldn't be allowed to leave the house without a walkie talkie, usually could only stay out no more than an hour or so, was made to go everywhere with his mom, stuff like that. Now, he does what he wants, when he wants and doesn't give two-shits what she has to say. I think it's basically him getting back at her and also him finally feeling free.

In a nutshell I'd say yes, being over-protective can be just as bad as being negligent.

Wow that's sad, it's a good thing he had the spine to stand up to her. A lot of kids dont.
#19
Overprotective parents usually end up indoctrinating their kids or sheltering them from real life problems they will have to face eventually.
It isn't too far from negligence, so both are viable ways of getting ranked into a gang.

The sheltered kids want excitement and the "abandoned" kids want some sort of kinship.
One extreme is just as bad as the other. In fact, there is a displacement of equality in both factors. What I mean by that is:
The kids with a good background wanna breakout of their shell, while (possibly) improvished kids want a stable family. The ironic, ying/yang duality is astounding.
#20
While it may be true, I'd much rather deal with a criminal who's background includes overprotective parents then one without parents.

At least the overprotected child is capable of understanding compassion and empathy.
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#21
Quote by Bazilisck311
While it may be true, I'd much rather deal with a criminal who's background includes overprotective parents then one without parents.

At least the overprotected child is capable of understanding compassion and empathy.

I'm sure most people with neglecting perant have found other people to teach them things like empathy?
#23
Quote by The*Music*Man
the difference is that the ones with negligent parents become smart delinquints because they learn the hard way; ones with over protective parents just become angry stupid delinquints because they just rebel cause they dont know what else to do.

the best thing for a child is to just have parents that show love and all that crap but give them space to explore and if they do something bad then so be it; then they have learned a lesson.


That's kinda the point I wanted to make.
The ones that don't have anyone to rely on learn that they have to provide for themselves by any means neccessary.
It's not that they are "smart delinquints", it's just they are more willing and capable to commit more hardcore crimes. That lifestyle is all they have known, so they have to adopt or die.
They also usually tend to boss around the overly supervised kids in the gangs, crime organizations, etc.
It's a symbotic relationship.
#24
You do need the middle ground, but overprotective parents aren't nearly as bad as negligent parents.

The kids with overprotective parents have still been socialised correctly and are instilled with the right norms and values etc. They really just want to rebel and have fun because they haven't had a chance to experience that at a younger age - they might drink alot, do some drugs, go off on a bad-behaviour streak or something, but ultimately they know what's right and wrong most of the time.

Kids with negligent parents are never instilled with that sense of what's right and wrong. They misbehave from a young age because it's human nature to not give a toss about anyone else (just to rapidly satisfy yourself in some kind of hedonistically fuelled instinct-reliance) and get into the habit. Also, it's alot less likely that they'll form attachments etc. with negligent parents - less likely that they'll actually genuinly love their parents if their parents don't care about them and that's highly damaging for their sense of security as children.

Statistically, i'm quite sure that children with negligent parents are much more likely to find themselves engaging in criminal activities, although how reliant that is on the fact that working-class parents are more likely to be negligent and middle - upper class parents more likely to be overprotective, I really don't know.

But yeah, middle ground is best.
#25
Quote by We'realltoBlame
I know people with terrible parents that are fanstastic people,and I know people with great parents that get into a lot of illegal stuff. But it also works the opposite of that too at times.


You mean fantastic parents that are terrible people, and illegal parents that get into great stuff?
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#27
thank god my parents dont atleast give a **** what i play, gta 3 when i was 9 years old
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#28
I think overprotective parents are worse once you get older, but for a child under 10, it's probably better.
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#29
**** statistics.
Every family is different. And every parent is different.

My family for example, was overprotective over me, and still is now that I'm going to university. But they're overprotective because they want to create a tight bond between everyone in the family. They're mature in their parenting, and what I'd consider negligent while growing up, because I'd hate their rules, made me who I am and restricted me from becoming exactly like my spoilt and immature friends.
Given that they could've done this 1000 other ways, I admire the barriers they put up. Being overprotective isn't always just limiting freedom, its much more than that, I know. But being a little overprotective helps, with a mature yet open-minded attitude towards forming ideas and opinions. What most kids do is that they confuse their friends as their priorities, but giving up going out a few times with your friends to spend some quality family time and developing yourself, turns out much better.

With that said, there are many overprotective parents who're negligent because of insecurities etc.etc. Thats just bad parenting.
#30
Well, it's a little off topic, but I think the same principle applies: look at adolescents that take chastity pledges, they are just as likely to have sex as other teens, but more likely to end up with an unplanned pregnancy or VD when they do. This is basically the effect of any type of overprotection IMO.
#31
Quote by break-me-in
I think overprotective parents are worse once you get older, but for a child under 10, it's probably better.

yup, that sounds right.
#32
i had a friend when i was younger and when i had him over to play once he couldnt even climb a tree and i feel sorry for him now cause he aint allowed out to partys and stuff.
i have parents in the middle im was allowed to eat dirt and play gta and stuff when i was younger but like they dont stop me froming most things anyway. but yet they dont come home **** drunk with weird people who's "uncle peatty" and go up to the bedroom. but i feel overprotective parents are probably a touch betterr than neglegant parents but its a close run
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#33
It's already been said by a few people, but I agree on the fact you need a steady balance of either side of the spectrum. Like anything, too much of an extreme can damage the child. You need to be strict, let them know the boundaries but at the same time let them be independent.

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I would rather have negligent parents.

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#34
I would rather have negligent parents.
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#35
Yes, I think so.
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#36
Negligent parents will have kids that are more streetwise and probably be more prepared for real life, but they're more likely to be dumbasses and get themselves in trouble on purpose anyway. I don't have negligent parents but i'm not as close as most people, and i appreciate the free time and less family comittment. It's easy to say i'd rather have negligent parents at the age of 16, when most of my upbringing has passed already, but i'd hate over-protective parents.
#37
Quote by petrina_678
so in your opinion are overprotective parents just as bad as negligent parents?

for example you have parents that hardly see/ spend time with their kids. Their kids dont go home,and they hang out with bad company and become delinquents. But if you have over protective parents, their kids feel compelled to rebel, hence their kids hang out with bad company and become delinquents as well..

the latest statistics in a local paper show that most youth "gangsters" here come from a very good background, and were overprotected.

so what do you think??


Take that with a pinch of salt.
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#38
Quote by skagitup
You do need the middle ground, but overprotective parents aren't nearly as bad as negligent parents.

The kids with overprotective parents have still been socialised correctly and are instilled with the right norms and values etc. They really just want to rebel and have fun because they haven't had a chance to experience that at a younger age - they might drink alot, do some drugs, go off on a bad-behaviour streak or something, but ultimately they know what's right and wrong most of the time.

Kids with negligent parents are never instilled with that sense of what's right and wrong. They misbehave from a young age because it's human nature to not give a toss about anyone else (just to rapidly satisfy yourself in some kind of hedonistically fuelled instinct-reliance) and get into the habit. Also, it's alot less likely that they'll form attachments etc. with negligent parents - less likely that they'll actually genuinly love their parents if their parents don't care about them and that's highly damaging for their sense of security as children.

Statistically, i'm quite sure that children with negligent parents are much more likely to find themselves engaging in criminal activities, although how reliant that is on the fact that working-class parents are more likely to be negligent and middle - upper class parents more likely to be overprotective, I really don't know.

But yeah, middle ground is best.



What this guy said.
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#39
i have overprotective parents its so sad i'm 16 and i've never been to a party and my parents dont even know i have an account on UG if they did they would kill me or something
#40
yeah they are
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