#1
Trawling round the pages of http://bride.ru/, I have found some interesting specimens. I'm unsure (due to lack of research and effort) exactly how this site works but I'm pretty sure you have to pay the web masters money to be able to contact the people who feature on there.

Take Madam Manhead, here:



What she guzzles is anyone's guess, but I bet there's petrol in it. £3.50 - tops.


Then there's this one:



I hope some has the decency to super, Supersize™ her immediately. I've got pubes heavier than that. Hope it's a 2-4-1 deal. 70p.


Then from a country where they worship hot air balloons as gods, we have Natalia:



The face that ceased a thousand sex crimes. She wouldn't need a rape alarm with those teeth, eh? We'll call it a fiver, tops.


Naturally not everyone on there is worth paying for and there is a free section. The bargain bin, if you will. Here's one I found earlier in aforementioned bin:



Hi, I'm Tim Healy. I like fishing, Newcastle United and ANAL!
Quote by Fassa Albrecht
You can't prove that people DON'T walk on water. turn water into wine etc.
#2
*fap fap fap*
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#3
Ok, so I'm being a little bit cruel and sexist you may think, but all is to be levelled out once I reveal to you some of the keen gentlemen of this website. Some of them look like rapists, some of them look like Star Trek enthusiasts and some of them just have no idea at all. Observe:



Tonight, Matthew, I'm going to be VIRTUAL ELTON!




Alright, Chris...where did you bury the little girls?




Do not address me as Daniel. The name is :::dArK LoRd::: ...! Hit me up on AIM!




Billy Bob Maxwell here likes a-rapin', likes a-shootin' and likes rodeo. "Columbine youth never been so darn, tootin' disciplined!"




Lock up your daughters. And their daughters. And anything dead. This bloke keeps all his dead ex-wives in bed with him.




No, no NO! Personality first...THEN orgasm face. How many times, Robert?




...and on the eighth day, God created THE FACE!




Bud, any idea where the cat went?
Quote by Fassa Albrecht
You can't prove that people DON'T walk on water. turn water into wine etc.
#4


Good luck, Sergio. Good luck.




Newsflash: Paycheque feud causes fourth Chuckle Brother to quit.




"Ho! Ho! Ho! Now tickle my spuds or you're getting coal again next year, you little shit."
Quote by Fassa Albrecht
You can't prove that people DON'T walk on water. turn water into wine etc.
#5
i lol'd
Quote by bi-ah!
this is UG
of course they're going to say
0H it'5 @ jAcK50l\l!??!?!
iT i5 TeH p\/\/naG3!!!

but yeah its fine
#8
i'm pretty sure this is against some kind of rule. maybe spam?
*reported*
I'm a Mormon.

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