#1
Crit for Crit
Please keep in mind that this is my first piece in several months and it might be a little weak, and critique is helpful. I think it would be more of a bit uptempo acoustic rock song, maybe a little nightwatchman-esque, anyways thanks for critiquing in advance.

It takes a blind man's eyes to see what's going on,
And it takes a deaf man's ears to hear what's wrong.
It takes the oldest of the men to realize the problem,
And it takes the smallest of the children's logic to solve em.

It's easy to make all the dark parts sunny,
But it doesn't get done because it don't involve money.
A million people see but they just keep going,
While in the warmest part of town it keeps on snowing.

A whole city's people all complain,
They can't live in this constant pain.
Many have money but no place to spend it,
Some can't take the pain so they just end it.

Across the country, the streets filled with litter,
Those left alive are alone and bitter.
The army charges into foreign soil,
Not a single man returns from the passionate toil.

First the gun, then the death,
First one till last breath.
First the father of four,
First blood starts to pour.

Several years later in a hospital's rubble,
A man lay's over his son's final trouble.
His tears make a puddle on the cold dry floor,
Not one remembers, the cause of this war.
#2
If its a southern type of song then its good, but otherwise it sounds like rap.