#1
Continuation of the theme from my first piece.


Disjoint Act II



If you keep quiet and listen
you can make out the tune;
the sweeping murmur of indifference
is the background symphony
to your prosaic solo.

Stop gazing at the clock...
it shows only the second.
Acceptance isn't resignation;
this stage is your house,
but it'll never be your home.

He nods along to your lines;
the Midas in the balcony,
but he hasn't heard a word.
Behind that horn rimmed gaze
he's still staring at your breasts.

The unorthodox umbilical salvation
whisper patience is a virtue
but anger is a gift.
Stop yearning for the destination
before you've understood the journey.
#4
Quote by _A_
Continuation of the theme from my first piece.


Disjoint Act II



If you keep quiet and listen
you can make out the tune;
the sweeping murmur of indifference
is the background symphony
to your prosaic solo.

Hehe, I like it already. Nothing to add.

Stop gazing at the clock...
it shows only the second.
Acceptance isn't resignation;
this stage is your house,
but it'll never be your home.

"Shows only the second" sounded strange to me. I'd've flipped the two. I really like "acceptance isn't resignation." That's a sweet line.

He nods along to your lines;
the Midas in the balcony,
but he hasn't heard a word.
Behind that horn rimmed gaze
he's still staring at your breasts.

Referring to him as Midas was brilliant. I love that. I probably would've omitted "still" from the last line.

The unorthodox umbilical salvation
whisper patience is a virtue
but anger is a gift.
Stop yearning for the destination
before you've understood the journey.

That first line.. is awesome. I mean, on paper, you look at it, and immediately put up a red flag. But then you say it, and it's liquid happiness. I really like how that sounds. And this last stanza is solid.


Wow, you're an awesome writer. I'm definitely keeping my eye out for more of your stuff. You should PM me when you post something new. Fantastic.