#1
Blackout
by Grant

Plug into the dream machine
Cut away at my sanity. drove insane
Ill track you down and give you back your pain
Kiss mwhen my mind falls out
Are you ready for my blackout?

A bit of advice, when your love just isn't enough
and your love taken away in cuffs
Your choices are to live or die
I rather blackout then hear you cry
Bye Bye
When I come back. I pray you dont cry.

Locked away in a fairy tale
Eyes shut away. my ears still hear you say
Ill love you till the end of time, not even you
Can love me when I fallout
are you ready for my blackout

Tasting your tears, are you cold my dear?
How long did I blackout?
I can smell decay, are you okay?
How can I take it back?
See your eyes, when did you die?
How can I change everything?

'Cause when I blackout
When I should talk it out
#2
thats really good i mean a lot of other peoples stuff i just dont get the rythm or the tone but urs is pretty good in the first verse its a little choppy and when it says "how can i change everything" i that didnt fit to me but those are just minor little details the rest is great
its a lot better than my stuf cuz i just started but see if u can find "just less" and give me some tips
#3
I was hopeing the first verse would explain what I feel when I "blackout"(which means getting drunk, getting high, anything that leads to sedation)
maybe I should change the "how can I chage everything" something that conveses my emotions of wish I didnt blackout...something like wanting to take it back