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#1
Should freak the Hell out of anyone named Delilah.

Hey there Delilah
What's it like in New York City?
I'm a thousand miles away
But girl, tonight you look so pretty
Yes you do
Times Square can't shine as bright as you
I swear it's true

He clearly has informants following you everywhere, and telling him exactly what you're doing. They send him picture messages on his phone every five minutes so that he knows what you look like all the time.

Hey there Delilah
Don't you worry about the distance
I'm right there if you get lonely
Give this song another listen
Close your eyes
Listen to my voice, it's my disguise
I'm by your side

He's not actually 1,000 miles away. He's right beside you, disguising himself with his voice. I don't know how it works, but I need to figure this out for future reference. It may have something to do with you having your eyes closed.

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me

You give great blowjobs.

Hey there Delilah
I know times are getting hard
But just believe me, girl
Someday I'll pay the bills with this guitar
We'll have it good
We'll have the life we knew we would
My word is good

Times aren't the only thing getting hard. After the royalties from this generic emo-acoustic song, he will be able to buy you whatever you want. You may want to get him to buy you a restraining order, so that you can have the life you want without having to listen to him play this song every single day after it's been overplayed on the radio for a year.

Hey there Delilah
I've got so much left to say
If every simple song I wrote to you
Would take your breath away
I'd write it all
Even more in love with me you'd fall
We'd have it all

He clearly wants to asphyxiate you, in the hopes that you would pass out, and fall. Then, he will proceed to make love to you, and you would have an STD cocktail that would make a five dollar hooker flinch.

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me

Really great blowjobs.

A thousand miles seems pretty far
But they've got planes and trains and cars
I'd walk to you if I had no other way
Our friends would all make fun of us
and we'll just laugh along because we know
That none of them have felt this way
Delilah I can promise you
That by the time we get through
The world will never ever be the same
And you're to blame

He will walk to you, because a plane, train, or car would be unnecessary to travel the distance he could take in three steps. He's in your closet, watching you, and your friends will make fun of you because you're dating a stalker who will use you to change the world. He's probably going to sacrifice you in some kind of pagan ritual in which he will attain some kind of power that will allow him to shape the world to his whims.

Hey there Delilah
You be good and don't you miss me
Two more years and you'll be done with school
And I'll be making history like I do
You'll know it's all because of you
We can do whatever we want to
Hey there Delilah here's to you
This one's for you

You'll be done with school in two more years. That means you'll be legal. He ran out of things to say, so he reiterates that he will be using you to somehow make history.

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me

****ing amazing blowjobs. Srsly.
My League of Legends stream
The morning will come
In the press of every kiss
With your head upon my chest

Where I will annoy you
With every waking breath
Until you, decide to wake up
Last edited by SOADrox429 at Jun 15, 2008,
#3
It's... It's... A damned conspiracy! Nobody is safe! Run to the bunkers!
Say hi

Playing: Sleeping Dogs, FIFA 13, Guild Wars 2, Borderlands 2
Reading: The Hobbit

Watching: How I met Your Mother, Big Bang Theory, 24

Listening: Muse - The 2nd Law
#4
Old news.
and the person singing the song is really soulja boy
Quote by metabolicmaggot
Win. +1 cookie for hide the beer.

#5
Quote by Ziggums
If that was meant to be funny then I'm sorry but you failed...

I'm aware of this. I worked hard enough on it, and I felt like sharing it.
My League of Legends stream
The morning will come
In the press of every kiss
With your head upon my chest

Where I will annoy you
With every waking breath
Until you, decide to wake up
#7
phail?

EDIT:
Quote by SOADrox429
some kind of pagan ritual in which he will attain some kind of power that will allow him to shape the world to his whims.


i actually just saw this
missed it on first look thru
it made me smile slightly
so no phail for you mister
Last edited by oscar666 at Jun 15, 2008,
#9
Quote by SOADrox429
I'm aware of this. I worked hard enough on it, and I felt like sharing it.


If you were wearing a Banana suit whilst playing your own version of the song on a banjo then yes it would be enjoyable.
#10
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me

You give great blowjobs.


I love you.
Quote by Tire Me.
Raping her in front of other people would be morally wrong.

Quote by Bubbles516
wtf290 uses make bubbles feel like crap
Its super effective!
#12
Quote by wtf290
I love you.

At least someone found some part of it funny. Thank you. I feel slightly better now.
Quote by freedoms_stain

I've seen that. It kind of inspired me, but that was much better.
Quote by Ziggums
If you were wearing a Banana suit whilst playing your own version of the song on a banjo then yes it would be enjoyable.

I totally would, except I don't have a banjo.
My League of Legends stream
The morning will come
In the press of every kiss
With your head upon my chest

Where I will annoy you
With every waking breath
Until you, decide to wake up
#13
I found it comedic, worth a chuckle
Quote by TunerAddict,mdawg24
+Infinity

Listen to ExtremeMetalFTW, he knows what he is talking about...

Quote by vmanoman
I clicked System Restore and it said "System Restore Is Unable To Protect You".

^^SO KVLT!!
#16
It was okay, I guess.

Was I supposed to laugh?
and this moment keeps on movin'
we were never meant to hold on.
#19
Quote by freedoms_stain

haha
Funny as hell lol. That dude looks like a cross between Adam Sandler and Pee-Wee Herman
Quote by Atomic_Assault
lololololol that was epic andyd93. you just made my day


PROUD EVERTONIAN
#22
how did you even get the thought of making it:P
A hero of war, Yeah that's what I'll be

(.)(.)..........(.)(.)..........(.)(.)..........(.)(.)..........(.)(.)..........(.)(.)..........(.)(.)
#24
Hehe, me like.
punk&metal wrote:

why would they star in a movie making fun of themselves

Subject: Spinal Tap.

Chill!
#25
Quote by ShaunDiel
1 dint laf evan 4 littal i gess itz nawt taht funie


epic fail
spelling nd grammar ftw :/
#27
Quote by oscar666
epic fail
spelling nd grammar ftw :/

I'm clearly not serious. I don't think anyone with an I.Q above 8 types/talks like that.
You spelled "and" wrong also, so don't shit on my spelling if you can barely string together a fucking sentence.
#29
I think I started a "You don't suck" movement.
Quote by Tire Me.
Raping her in front of other people would be morally wrong.

Quote by Bubbles516
wtf290 uses make bubbles feel like crap
Its super effective!
#30
Quote by SOADrox429

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me

You give great blowjobs.




The rest was kinda meh, but this was golden.
I play by my own rules. And I have one rule; There are no rules... but if there are, they're there to be broken. Even this one.


Confused? Good.

Quote by CrucialGutchman
Sigs are wastes of my precious screen space.

^ Irony

Quote by RevaM1ssP1ss
LET ME HUMP YOU DAMMIT
#32
hmmmm, i picked up on the point of her still being in school. but you have raised more points, now i think its time to catch the paedophile
Quote by FrenchyFungus


Awww, thanks Frenchy

Quote by Cobain_Is_King
I got a packet of Love Hearts when I was six and every one said 'You Have a Tiny Penis'




Hate humans? Click here
#33
To this day I can't bring myself to listen to the entire song because it's just so awful, so some of the effect might be lost, but I chuckled a bit.
#34
Haha rock on bro. Too right, I hate this damn song, It's everywhere, overplayed and overated.
#35
Quote by SOADrox429
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me

You give great blowjobs.


#36
Oh and is the Ultimate Guitar forums some form of 'Critic' community by the way? He wasn't auditioning for anything, he was just sharing :P
#39
Quote by hide_the_beer
Old news.
and the person singing the song is really soulja boy



No, no, no.
The person singing the song is
YOUUUUUUU
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