Musically it's a tad cheesy-generic-metalcore, but it pulls off the whole "look at me I'm metalcore" thing pretty well. This is something that could definately make an artist a lot of money with the right promotion. Which definately isn't an insult. Musician's gotta make money some how, you gotta be able to sell your music, and if this was arranged as a whole song, with the right drum patterns, the right vocals (that "just right" combo of mid ranged screams and high pitched singing) then kids would go mad for this.
Which is what matters.
Recording wise, this is painful to listen to, but I'm still focusing on the music, but I have to admit the tone's ****ING HORRIBLE, and it's making it hard to focus on what's going on.

Musically: A solid 6.5/10 for my own opinion on this type of stuff but a 9/10 for how much the general public would love something like this.
Recording: 1/10 This is raping my ****ing ears. Sorry, but your tone's a horrible, fizzy, HARSH mess. You can play just fine, but you really need to work on dialling in.
Less gain, Less treble, plenty of mids, and you'll be part way there. What amp do you use? Any pedals?