#1
ok this song is called cant remember . it has kind of pop punkish tune but the singer has a raspy voice like rancid but not even close to that bad.

see what you guys think

verse:
last time i did any thing at all
i was only this f**kin tall
all i do is sit around, lie in bed
and sometimes i pretend that im dead

then one day i stopped to think
why live life if you only sleep
i counld think of any thing
so now i dont even think


then one day i relized

chorus:
i cant remember
no not a thing at all
i cant remember
yea not a thing
i cant remember
no not a thing at all


Verse:
in these days of self pity and denial
i wish i could just get up and smile
but now i cant seem to even move
cuz


Chorus:
i cant remember
no not a thing at all
i cant remember
yea not a thing
i cant remember
no not a thing at all
Despite what you've been told, I once had a soul
#2
It was alright some good parts but to me the chorus was very weak and really the chorus should be the best part of the song, strong, memorable, and it should have a powerful message that sums up the idea of the song. Basically your chorus is saying "I can't remember nothing at all" a few times without any explanation of why or what is actually happening to the character in the song. Does he have Alzheimer's? Concussion?
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#3
the idea is the guy did a lot of drugs its kinda about one of my friends
Despite what you've been told, I once had a soul
#5
returning the crit..

the chorus was not that well put together.
make it stronger.
say what you want to say in a short line
but put a load of meaning into it,
#6
k thx for the advise ill see what i can change
Despite what you've been told, I once had a soul