#1
Post your favourite press quotes that seem to mean so much more than it initially seems.

From the BBC Cricket website, over Kevin Pietersen "switch-hitting":

"Everybody wants brand new ideas, new inventions and that's a new shot." England one-day captain Paul Collingwood, who was standing at the non-striker's end as Styris bowled, admitted: "I covered my eyes as soon as he turned his body around.

"He did actually come up the wicket and said 'I was thinking about doing that in bed last night'."



YOUR TURN!
Quote by LgLagro
You, you bring us both corm, and two hot russian gymnasts pretty much making out, you are a legend.


Limping Head Journalist and Proprietor of PitTown Cricket Club.

Keeping quiet about scandals since 2008.
#2
from a football match:

"Pele just opens his legs and shows his power!!!!!!"

muffled laughter could then be heard from the commentary box.
Quote by mh.666
This man is right.


My life in all aspects is going fucking brilliantly, so I just thought I'd offer a cyncial scrap of wisdom, gloat a little, and then leave.
#3
Quote by LedZeppelin9345
from a football match:

"Pele just opens his legs and shows his power!!!!!!"

muffled laughter could then be heard from the commentary box.


ahaha that's awesome.

Sadly, America never screws up quotes so I can't say that I have any.

..kidding of course..
#5
the dutch are always correct in everything.... only mistakes ever made are spelling errors
Quote by Dillona
I think I want to have sex with you.

On topic: No, I haven't met any famous artists.


ofcourse i laughed xD

Quote by CoreysMonster
yeah we're all dead now. Turns out we've been in hell all along.

About the LHC

#6
In cricket:

"The bowler's Holding the batsman's Willy" (Actually meaning that the bowler's called Holding and the batsman is called Willy).
#7
12 of the finest double-entendres that were aired on British TV & Radio1:

1. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator

'And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!'


2. New Zealand Rugby Commentator

'Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him.'


3.. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator

'This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother.'


4. Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977

'Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford Crew'


5. US PGA Commentator

'One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them ...... Oh my god!! What have I just said??'


6. Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on 'Time Team Live' said:

'You'd eat beaver if you could get it.'


7. A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked,

'So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?'

Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard!


8. Steve Ryder covering the US Masters:

'Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69 yesterday.'


9.. Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said:

'There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this.'


10. Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports:

'Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets.'


11. Michael Buerk on watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked:

They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts.'


12. Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open:

'Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself.
from daylight...
...into darkness
#8
Quote by UncleCthulhu
In cricket:

"The bowler's Holding the batsman's Willy" (Actually meaning that the bowler's called Holding and the batsman is called Willy).

you made that up
#9
Quote by divid3d
'One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them ...... Oh my god!! What have I just said??'

7. A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked,

'So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?


Those are epic..
#10
Daily mail on emo.
'the sinister cult of emo'
'When emos die they believe they will go to the black parade.'


Quote by Spoonman69
Rap is music,far better than metal for example. id much rather hear about hoes and anal sex than dragons and supressed homosexuality.
#11
Quote by 100%guitarmad
you made that up


Nope, it was said by Brian Johnston during an England V West Indies match.
#13
Quote by UncleCthulhu
Nope, it was said by Brian Johnston during an England V West Indies match.



true dat
Quote by mh.666
This man is right.


My life in all aspects is going fucking brilliantly, so I just thought I'd offer a cyncial scrap of wisdom, gloat a little, and then leave.
#14
hah, divid3d's post is great.
Quote by FrenchyFungus


Awww, thanks Frenchy

Quote by Cobain_Is_King
I got a packet of Love Hearts when I was six and every one said 'You Have a Tiny Penis'




Hate humans? Click here
#15
In my local paper about a hockey match

"Andy Lane and Jamie Hall found some penetration down the right side "

sadly i am jamie hall
Quote by slayaplaya

(oh! maybe some one will sig that witty comment! maybe not...)
#16
Quote by leaping badger
In my local paper about a hockey match

"Andy Lane and Jamie Hall found some penetration down the right side "

sadly i am jamie hall

owned
from daylight...
...into darkness
#17
Quote by 100%guitarmad
you made that up


It was the late great Brian Johnston commentating on Michael Holding bowling to Peter Willey.

A better Johnston quote is about a player standing at leg-slip:

"The player standing with his legs open, waiting for a tickle."

Jonathan Agnew was rolling around on the commentary box floor after that.
Quote by LgLagro
You, you bring us both corm, and two hot russian gymnasts pretty much making out, you are a legend.


Limping Head Journalist and Proprietor of PitTown Cricket Club.

Keeping quiet about scandals since 2008.
Last edited by TheFishMan92 at Jun 16, 2008,
#18
The NewsQuiz (Radio 4 topical news show thing) has loads of these every week.

A young girl who was blown out to sea on a set of inflatable teeth was rescued by a man on an inflatable lobster. A coastguard spokesman commented, "this sort of thing is all too common". (The Times)

Commenting on a complaint from a Mr.Arthur Purdey about a large gas bill, a spokesman for North West gas said "We agree it was rather high for the time of year. It's possible Mr.Purdey has been charged for the gas used up during the explosion that blew his house to pieces." (Bangkok Post)

http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/comedy/rams/nq_cutting3_year.ram (audio file, worth a listen though I assure you).

http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/comedy/newsquiz_cuttings.shtml
Quote by mh400nt
Theres rats running around outside my window, one of them has an apple, he looks very happy about this.

Quote by Oblivion_Rps
Oh ****

Aaaah well. It gives me an excuse to rape.


Quote by Jaymz_515
Bunnywunnywabbitywoos.
#19
Quote by big duck
The NewsQuiz (Radio 4 topical news show thing) has loads of these every week.

A young girl who was blown out to sea on a set of inflatable teeth was rescued by a man on an inflatable lobster. A coastguard spokesman commented, "this sort of thing is all too common". (The Times)

Commenting on a complaint from a Mr.Arthur Purdey about a large gas bill, a spokesman for North West gas said "We agree it was rather high for the time of year. It's possible Mr.Purdey has been charged for the gas used up during the explosion that blew his house to pieces." (Bangkok Post)

http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/comedy/rams/nq_cutting3_year.ram (audio file, worth a listen though I assure you).

http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/comedy/newsquiz_cuttings.shtml


Do you getz the R4 podcast ducky?
Quote by LgLagro
You, you bring us both corm, and two hot russian gymnasts pretty much making out, you are a legend.


Limping Head Journalist and Proprietor of PitTown Cricket Club.

Keeping quiet about scandals since 2008.
#20
Quote by imdeth
This man deserves my +1

+1

Quote by denizenz
Go in peace my son, and teach to the pit dwellers what I have shown unto you.


ಠ_ಠ


XBL: huffy409
#22
[quote="'[x"]Huffy[x]']

lol, that is awesome. and it shows the fixation the press have with anything remotely diana-related.
Member of UG's Tubgirl Virgins Club

Last.fm
#23
From the newest edition of private eye

The heat can literally fry your brain like a boiled egg

Commentator-ITV4
#24
Quote by _Tim_
From the newest edition of private eye


Commentator-ITV4


AH-HEM

What are you doing with my evil penguin?
Quote by LgLagro
You, you bring us both corm, and two hot russian gymnasts pretty much making out, you are a legend.


Limping Head Journalist and Proprietor of PitTown Cricket Club.

Keeping quiet about scandals since 2008.
#25
Quote by _Tim_
From the newest edition of private eye


Commentator-ITV4

it'd be much cooler if it could boil your brain like a fried egg i think
from daylight...
...into darkness
#26
Quote by TheFishMan92
AH-HEM

What are you doing with my evil penguin?

+1, kick his ass FishMan.
Quote by imdeth
This man deserves my +1

+1

Quote by denizenz
Go in peace my son, and teach to the pit dwellers what I have shown unto you.


ಠ_ಠ


XBL: huffy409
#28
Quote by b2spirita
private eye.....

There's always one person that has to spoil things.


haha.
Quote by imdeth
This man deserves my +1

+1

Quote by denizenz
Go in peace my son, and teach to the pit dwellers what I have shown unto you.


ಠ_ಠ


XBL: huffy409
#29
Quote by 100%guitarmad
you made that up

Really, he didn't.
Quote by Atomic_Assault
lololololol that was epic andyd93. you just made my day


PROUD EVERTONIAN
#30
Quote by divid3d

5. US PGA Commentator

'One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them ...... Oh my god!! What have I just said??'



This is incredibly old. It was rumored Johnny Carson made that joke years ago. If the commentator actually said this, he probably knew what he was saying.
Quote by Shredder XXX
how about the way your entire country generalizes a culture by the actions of a few, citing any Americans idea of a middle eastern person.
#31
"Saddam has Weapons of Mass Destruction!"
ΙΓΘΝζΑ
か゚つてへこ
#32
Quote by UncleCthulhu
In cricket:

"The bowler's Holding the batsman's Willy" (Actually meaning that the bowler's called Holding and the batsman is called Willy).


Yeah thats a good one but theres loads off good cricket ones.
#34
Quote by TheFishMan92
Do you getz the R4 podcast ducky?

I do indeed. But I have been downloading stuff of listen again for a few years, since not all the good stuff goes to podcast. I kept downloading for a while, because every now and then you miss a piece of music due to copyright stuff. I prefer the Now Show to News quiz though. I prefer when Armando Iannucci's charm offensive is on, but it's much less often. It's in the same slot, but I dunno if they podcast it on or not.
Quote by mh400nt
Theres rats running around outside my window, one of them has an apple, he looks very happy about this.

Quote by Oblivion_Rps
Oh ****

Aaaah well. It gives me an excuse to rape.


Quote by Jaymz_515
Bunnywunnywabbitywoos.
#35
That Diana one is awesome.

Superbikes commentator Jack Burnicle was talking about Colin Edwards' tyre choice and said: "Colin Edwards had a hard on in practice earlier, I bet he wished he had a hard on now".

Kevin Keegan: ""His strength is his strength, and that's his strength, his strength""
[quote="'[x"]Huffy[x]']^ This man knows everything.

Seriously, don't even try and question him, he'll rip your face off with his awesomeness alone.
Quote by Kumanji
@ yet another win post from Vince. Kudos to you, sir.