#1
take your line,
and play your part
headache demolished,
your ready to start

shine them,
platinum cuffs

pre-polished cliffs
"stand right here
I'll be back in ten"

sallow,
it goes down rough

you came in fifth
now the clan of fear
will take you in

two sticks can't breed this fire
but a few bars could hold it in
tell me what of desire?
its to late, it nicked your shin

confined to a batter-bared window
"would your eyes care for a gander?"
defined by the word of a widow
"well i couldn't understand her!"

whisper in my ear,
tell me what that tie is made for
wait the burn and sear
until you get what you pay for

c4c
Reaching for the sun
one may forget
the feet which
ground him
#2
take your line,
and play your part
headache demolished,
your ready to start *you're

shine them,
i would have preferred the addition of up at the end
to help balance this with the following line.
or those instead of them, without the comma

platinum cuffs

pre-polished cliffs
pre-polished doesn't ring strong here with shine happening just prior.
"stand right here
I'll be back in ten"

sallow,
it goes down rough

you came in fifth
now the clan of fear
will take you in

two sticks can't breed this fire
but a few bars could hold it in
tell me what of desire?
its to late, it nicked your shin *it's (it is) too (excessively)

confined to a batter-bared window
"would your eyes care for a gander?"
defined by the word of a widow
"well i couldn't understand her!"

whisper in my ear,
tell me what that tie is made for
wait the burn and sear
until you get what you pay for


tbh, i really didn't understand this.
but some of the phrases were fun.
and there was a pleasant sonic continuity,
even though i didn't see it as a cohesive train of thought.

The play on crowbar in the title is lovely.
Meadows
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Quote by SK8RDUDE411
I wont be like those jerks who dedicate their beliefs to logic and reaosn.