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#1
i was just givin it a good wack for about 45 minutes, everythings going good, got paper towel next to me and ****, i let it all out, clean up and come back to the computer... only to rest my hand in a goupy, pearl-colored, thick substance with a strong odor. would you look at that. i cummed all over my mouse and mouse pad... needless to say ive been scrubbing it for the past ten minutes and it is now soaking in alcohol

feel free to share your after-fap stories
#3
No fucking way you can fap for 45 minutes... I call shenanigans on your statement.
Quote by denizenz
I'll logic you right in the thyroid.

Art & Lutherie
#4
...
I can honestly say I have really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like.


I don't always post on UG, but when I do, I post in the Pit. Stay thirsty my friends.
#5
One time I fapped. I'm now a father of twins.
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Portugal. The Man »–
#7
Quote by darkstar2466
No fucking way you can fap for 45 minutes... I call shenanigans on your statement.


And he said "cummed". He's probably 12.
#9
Quote by darkstar2466
No fucking way you can fap for 45 minutes... I call shenanigans on your statement.



one time i was bored as hell so i went twice with no recovery time, the second time took 2 hours. another time i went 2 without any payoff, so i just had to stop.
#10
Quote by apollo minor
45 minutes? Forearm cramps?


The longest I have gone is about 10 minutes continuously when I was crossfaded out of my mind, and I got really bored of it...
Quote by denizenz
I'll logic you right in the thyroid.

Art & Lutherie
#11
Quote by dudius
one time i was bored as hell so i went twice with no recovery time, the second time took 2 hours. another time i went 2 without any payoff, so i just had to stop.


Once I went like 3 1/2 without any payoff. Beat that!


Of course, my per0r was in quite a bit of pain for a couple days.
kill all humans
#12
Quote by darkstar2466
No fucking way you can fap for 45 minutes... I call shenanigans on your statement.
Maybe he was just doing a leisurely stroll kinda fap. Taking his sweet time and all.
#13
only time i spent 2 hours beating it was when i took 6 valium pain killers.... my thing was swole as all-get-out.
#14
Quote by dudius
one time i was bored as hell so i went twice with no recovery time, the second time took 2 hours. another time i went 2 without any payoff, so i just had to stop.


you obviously need to work on your technique.
Too cool for a signature.
#15
Quote by dudius
one time i was bored as hell so i went twice with no recovery time, the second time took 2 hours. another time i went 2 without any payoff, so i just had to stop.


ive had multiple orgasms....but not from fapping..........my recovery time is like 5 minutes......
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that'd be slightly creepy if i didn't find it so amusing.
#16
it was my second time today, and i tend to take breaks to make it last longer


unfortunately my fountain of youth has dried up
#17
Quote by darkstar2466
No fucking way you can fap for 45 minutes... I call shenanigans on your statement.


I agree with this.

And why would you want to tell us this??? Seriously......way to make me twitch when I reach for my mouse.......

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#18
Quote by abdulalhazred
ive had multiple orgasms....but not from fapping..........my recovery time is like 5 minutes......

very rarely, but more than once, i've been able to stay hard after paying out. and sometimes i often have multiple orgasms. thats always the best.

one time i fapped to try and rid myself of blueballs, but it only hurt more. it did help afterwards, but you gotta be really gentle when you got teh blueballs.
Last edited by dudius at Jun 17, 2008,
#19
Quote by abdulalhazred
ive had multiple orgasms....but not from fapping..........my recovery time is like 5 minutes......

I always lose interest halfway through the second time.
#20
i hate when i fap for so long iget tired of it... with no payoff. how the hell does that happen anyway? i do it once a day, before bed. sometimes ill even go a few days without it.

oh well..
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#21
the first time i came it went out of my bed and next to my older brother.

"The mind is its own place, and in itself

Can make a Heav'n of Hell, a Hell of Heav'n"

- John Milton, Paradise Lost
#22
45 minutes? Havin a hard time buddy?
Soon you will sit on the bench
of those who deny I have my soul
You sell a dream you create
Condemned by what you condemned before
Smooth are the words you sing down and high
Underground is your joy your laws
#23
the only times i didnt have payoff was when i was going off a mental picture and would have ADD moments or fall asleep. pron helps.
#24
Quote by Zeppellica
i was just givin it a good wack for about 45 minutes, everythings going good, got paper towel next to me and ****, i let it all out, clean up and come back to the computer... only to rest my hand in a goupy, pearl-colored, thick substance with a strong odor. would you look at that. i cummed all over my mouse and mouse pad... needless to say ive been scrubbing it for the past ten minutes and it is now soaking in alcohol

feel free to share your after-fap stories

pic or it didnt happen
#26
Quote by darkstar2466
No fucking way you can fap for 45 minutes... I call shenanigans on your statement.



I can fap for an hour or 2. You just got to pace yourself.
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#27
Quote by alaskan_ninja
Once I went like 3 1/2 without any payoff. Beat that!


Of course, my per0r was in quite a bit of pain for a couple days.


#28
One time when I was fapping it got on my dinner plate.

That was an awkward thanksgiving.
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#29
Quote by cjblack532
One time when I was fapping it got on my dinner plate.

That was an awkward thanksgiving.

someone else's dinner plate would top that I believe.
I have no weird stories, fortunately.
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#30
I bet if I was really tired, I could fall asleep. The most that's happened to me is a little off shot on the keyboard.
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#31
45 minutes running up and down his **** without getting cramps? I'm guessing the threadstarter is a drop tuned rhythm player, and quite a fit one at that.
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Just move it around the fretboard
#32
Quote by Cosimo_Zaretti
45 minutes running up and down his **** without getting cramps? I'm guessing the threadstarter is a drop tuned rhythm player, and quite a fit one at that.


Meh, I can go for longer.
Then again, I am a drummer
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#33
Man, I just used to splat it out all over the computer, keyboard, screen, speakers.
HI
#34
i've never fapped infront of the computer...


I have no embarassing stories...apart from bein caught by my parents once...but i pretended i was "putting on a pair of pants"


Anyone got any "Premature ejaculation" tales...in front of girls...


my friend jizzed all over his gf before she even started giving him a handjob hehe
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#35
i've never fapped infront of the computer...


I have no embarassing stories...apart from bein caught by my parents once...but i pretended i was "putting on a pair of pants"


Anyone got any "Premature ejaculation" tales...in front of girls...


my friend jizzed all over his gf before she even started giving him a handjobhehe

I jizzed all over my gf before she even started giving me a hanjob

*fixed*
Last edited by fretsonfire74 at Jun 17, 2008,
#36
i think i can beat this one:

it hit my eye once
slight twist, shivering corpse
ornated with water, fills the cracks
clasped in my limbs by tradition
THIS IS ALL YOU NEED


"to be great is to be misunderstood."

- ralph waldo emerson
#37
Quote by dude_bro
i think i can beat this one:

it hit my eye once

Obviously need to work on your ranged skill more than your melee skill.
#39
ah, young horny teens. cannot beat their desperation

if you will excuse me, i am off to fap

EDIT: and i'm not even joking!
#40
Quote by valennic
I agree with this.

And why would you want to tell us this??? Seriously......way to make me twitch when I reach for my mouse.......


haha

Somethings are best kept to oneself..this is indeed one of them.
Quote by dark&broken
I'd like to see any of those meathead homophobes look a Spartan in the eye and call him a fag.

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