#1
well i have these two songs and everyone says they are pretty good but i really want someone to just critque them.

here is the first one.

I sit in a dark room with only a single glow of light coming from the lamp in the corner.
I guess this is where my story begins.
It's not always the same, in what you get and what you see.
I found that out the hard way with you.
So wake up then go back to sleep.
I will be the final time you see my face.
forget it.
you took my heart by the hand and stabbed it with a knife.
all i wanted to do was be held by taking a risk.
Guess it wasnt worth it.
I can never lie.
only bend the truth.
I feel the walls closing in.
Runaway because im scared but there is no where to run to.
I have my people call your people.
bet you didnt know.
wrong turn.
I hate to rain on your parade but choices choices termination.


and here is the second one.

no its not my fault.
so why do i get blamed for it.
so many possibilities yet so few opportunities.
I need to clear my mind because i can never think straight.
I cant even trust me so how are you supposed to.
One little slip screws up everything.
these werent my intentions.
Crazy dreams coming true.
theyre just not mine.
beyond the shadow of a doubt.
goodbye is your only way out.
Night is when we shine.
Not the day.
Spinning in circles.
going back to the same old things but not moving forward.
I thought heros were supposed to never die.
So lets start now.
Tell me why it is still like this.
I dont want jsut anyone.
I want my knight in shining armor.
I know i was wrong but the world keeps spinning.
and i know they are gone.
Words to the wise.
It is all about finding the right strings and pulling them.
Help because my brain is filled up to the top with thoughts.
Do you hear what i hear.
A match made in heaven.
Has it come tho this.
Getting to know you.
First contact.
Hey you never know.
Good help can be easy to find.
work it out.
first jitters when you care enough.


so that's it. it would really be nice for some HELPFUL critisism. so i guess just help if you can.
#2
You're going to get reported for this, not by me, but by numerous other people...read the rules