#1
This is something I've been working on. It's kind of a spoken-word-beat thing over bluesy guitar and a killer blues riff in between the verses. I might add another verse or two, but this is all I got for now:

So there I was in paradise, just the other day
After pulling myself up out of the mud and the clay
I spied a guy with a beard who was talkin' kinda weird
And I don't remember if what he said made me laugh or cry
But either way, I shed a tear.

He said, "Hi, my name's God, and I just made you.
So you've gotta listen to me and do what I tell you to."
I replied "Well, Mr. God, you seem a little confused
As to who made who.
If anyone made anyone around here,
It was me who made you."

So there I was, sitting at home, alone, getting stoned and throwing my dog a bone
Drinking scotch and dialing random numbers on my telephone
(No one answered)
When I woke up the next morning, someone had stole one of my bones
And left this chick. She was really kind of boring and more than a little annoying,
But it's not like I had too many other options at the time.

So there I was, walking down the street
I did a double take 'cuz I saw a snake.
So I said "Hey, Mr. Snake
What's it gonna take
For you to climb up that there apple tree
And get one of those apples for little ol' me?"
The snake said "For you, my man, I'll do it for free."
When I got in trouble for it, I blamed my girlfriend.
That's why she gets pissy once a month.
Although the masters make the rules
For the wise men and the fools
I got nothing, Ma, to live up to.
#2
Ha ha thanks. It probably reads like a story for five year olds because when I wrote it, I just pictured Adam sitting around, griping about his crappy life to a bunch of kids, a pissed-off old bum with a beer in his hand and a cigarette in his mouth.
And you're right about the last verse. I've gotta work on the beginning of it.
Although the masters make the rules
For the wise men and the fools
I got nothing, Ma, to live up to.