#1
Here's some lyrics I'd like to have your honest opinion about. I wrote them a couple of years ago and found them just recently.


Have you looked in the mirror
On a Sunday afternoon and felt you’re not alone
And felt that someone’s watching

Have you looked in the mirror
On a Monday morning and questioned what you see?
And felt the urge to creep back down and just stop be?

Have you looked in the mirror
On a Friday night and felt as hot as silver rain?
And felt that someone up there loves you

I have looked in the mirror
On all seven days of the week
And felt everything I see is lies
Lies that I believe
#2
This has potential, but I think you're best off using these bits as a chorus (with the exception of the last one which could be a bridge or stay at the end). Might just break up the monotony somewhat, if you mix it up a bit.

What you have is very good, what you haven't got is what's holding the song back, message me if you add some verses and I'll read it again to see what it'd be like. For what's here though, good work!
#3
Quote by EL2T
This has potential, but I think you're best off using these bits as a chorus (with the exception of the last one which could be a bridge or stay at the end). Might just break up the monotony somewhat, if you mix it up a bit.

What you have is very good, what you haven't got is what's holding the song back, message me if you add some verses and I'll read it again to see what it'd be like. For what's here though, good work!



Alrite, thanks. Yeah the last bit is definatly an "ending" in some sort of way. Not sure if I can get in the mood to write anything to add to this though. Might try to just put some chords to it and try but if I'm able to I'll try to write some additional lines. Thanks for comments though=)
#4
Your definately onto something here. The last verse I believe could definately be the chorus but it's like what EL2T wrote. It's what you haven't got is what's holding you back.