#1
Hi i wrote this around the time of my 18th birthday

I dont consider myself to be any good so please dont be too harsh

I dont normally post but i thought id give it a try so if i could have some feedback id be fair appreciative thankyou.


Here i am with this distaste for growing
There you are with your scented lips all knowing
With starry eyes i sit here
way beyond any noticed pain
Its all history.

Dragging bodies so far aloft
Illusions get so tiring but i sit and cry and watch
The script i had at the begginin seems to gone missing
Started off in my mouth and left whilst i was kissing

How high did you get?
Planets
Past moons, Past Stars,
Past that?

You are my painted masterpiece,
Preserved never to be sold
That future is certain like the memories we hold
Even while im looking in the wrong direction
You'll find i make the right decision.

You may see me kissing wildly down here.
Ill be looking up with no fear,
Whats that?
This lie will die with me and we'll share it.
Too late i did it again holding nothing back,
.
Live well, Lifes short, you'd know.
Your away, but your way...
Won our hearts.


Thanks for giving the time to read this
#2
i kind of made a rythm up...but this aint bad dude...to the point and u use some fancy words
#4
lol thanks i wernt tryin to be clever or anythin cus i aint, not too sure which words are clever though haha thanks though
#5
I liked it.
Quote by ottoavist

i suppose there's a chance
i'm just a litte too shallow to consider
that maybe i've been a little more eager
each day to wake up and take a shower
brush my teeth and smile for the mirror