#1
Who do your followers pray to? What happens after you die? What values should your followers uphold?
#2
chuck norris/u dont/learn roundhouse kick


JOIN USSSSS!!!!
Chuckalothisum
Quote by Allnightmask22

Alternatively, have your friends hold him down, then take a dump in his mouth, make sure your genitals don't touch him though, that's gay.

Quote by RageAgainst...
Teddy-Metal
for those who like to mosh, but just wanna cuddle afterwards

smashing pumkins fans=)^
#3
We pray to Tony Iommi. When we die, we get backstage passes to all his shows.
Values? The Sabbath is black, the riffs shall be doomy.
Gear:
Epiphone G-400 Ebony
Line-6 UberMetal, EchoPark
Boss RC-2 Loop Station
Traynor YCV50Blue, Bass Mate 25, Guitar Mate 15
#4
Diety: Led Zeppelin
Heaven: Heaven (the one and only)
Hell: Snoop Dogg's House
Church: The Church that Remains the Same
Book: The Best of Led Zeppelin Tab book
Hymns: Immigrant song and Kashmir (should cover it)
Followers: Hippies
#5
My followers pray to me. After someone dies, they are cremated and served as chocolate milk powder for four prepubescent boy. The values they would uphold are diamonds and other fine jewelry (lol@myhorriblefunnies).
It all makes sense
We're capable of beauty
Through sounds that make on cringe
The dogs only hear us now

#6
Quote by Just2340
Diety: Led Zeppelin
Heaven: Heaven (the one and only)
Hell: Snoop Dogg's House
Church: The Church that Remains the Same
Book: The Best of Led Zeppelin Tab book
Hymns: Immigrant song and Kashmir (should cover it)
Followers: Hippies



than i am a loyal hippie
#7
i'm pretty sure this belongs in the religion thread. but i believe what i want to believe. we decompose in the ground when we die. i don't believe in god and why waste ur life now hoping for a better eternal life? and i'm not saying i'm right or anything and this is fact i'm just saying what i believe. believe what u want i don't care i'm not gonna force religion down ur throat unlike other people (i think u know who i'm talking about) and i'm not going to judge u based on ur beliefs.
Deacon of Zeppelinism PM TheHeartbreaker to join
speed demon of the UG Jeepers
Member of the Neutral Milk Hotel club PM Hamish5178 to join~
#8
My religion already exists in the world, and is the most powerful and captivating force that has ever existed.


All of us follow it.


There are no non-believers.


Music.
Voted 3rd Friendliest User of UG 2010

BUILD A TIME MACHINE, AND JERK OFF IN IT, AND SEND IT TO HITLER!


Saxo-Walrus

Steam & PSN ID: Panopticon20
#9
My followers pray to Chuck Schuldiner of Death and Mikael Åkerfeldt. After you die, you go to a special type of 'heaven' where you drink and play guitar with Dimebag, Chuck, and other metal gods for all of eternity. You have the power to kill mortal posers and people who pretty much suck that live on Earth. The only value you hold is to rock the **** out and not play ****ty music
\m/
#11
Quote by brooklynsoulja1
chuck norris/u dont/learn roundhouse kick


JOIN USSSSS!!!!
Chuckalothisum

Now THAT is a religion!
#13
Quote by riffmasterjosh
i'm pretty sure this belongs in the religion thread. but i believe what i want to believe. we decompose in the ground when we die. i don't believe in god and why waste ur life now hoping for a better eternal life? and i'm not saying i'm right or anything and this is fact i'm just saying what i believe. believe what u want i don't care i'm not gonna force religion down ur throat unlike other people (i think u know who i'm talking about) and i'm not going to judge u based on ur beliefs.


Someone misunderstood the thread lol
#14
Quote by kd420
Someone misunderstood the thread lol

Yeah, this is more of a lulz-thread than the religion thread. :p
#15
they pray to me. they go to a black abyss where they have all the unprotected sex with underaged girls they want. my followers are brut0rz.
Gear:

Guitars:
ESP ltd FX-400
Epiphone les paul jr.

Amps:
Line 6 spider II combo 30 watt
Krank Rev. Jr. full stack tube.
#16
Quote by iimjpii
Yeah, this is more of a lulz-thread than the religion thread. :p

well sorry for the mistake maybe i should read more carefully next time.
Deacon of Zeppelinism PM TheHeartbreaker to join
speed demon of the UG Jeepers
Member of the Neutral Milk Hotel club PM Hamish5178 to join~
#17
Ted the homeless guy that hangs outside 7-11, when you die you chill outside 7-11 with him and the followers should always give him 5 bucks when entering said 7-11 and NEVER go to chevron.
#18
We are all files, our innards, documents, are held together by staples, paperclips, and binderclips. These bonds can be broken, but generally hold up. Eventually we all get shredded (death). We are scanned into the computer where we live on forever (not counting if an 'unarchived' system crashed). Some documents are misfiled, these are like personality flaws (something inside that just isn't right).

I get really bored at work..
#19
I like the Grateful Dead and Jam bands so that's basically a religion.

Oh and when you die you get to hang with jerry
Oct. 20th, 2009: New guitar AND front row for Mars Volta.

Quote by denizenz
Is that a ukulele in your pants, or did you just rip ass to the tune of "Aloha Oi"?


I met Sonic Youth on June 30th, and Mars Volta on Oct 20th.
#20
Church of Coheed

God: Claudio Sanchez (Sorry rest of band Besides you Chris Pennie... FUCK YOU!)
Heaven: Vans Warped Tour in Hawaii featuring Metallica, Eric Clapton, The Offspring, Led Zeppelin and a reunion of The Beatles with ALL the original members (Lennon might not move much)
Hell: HELL
Church: The Second Stage Turbine
Book: The Ten Speed (Of God's Blood and Burial)
Hymns: The Light + The Glass, Mother May I. Mother Superior...
Moto: Welcome Home, have a Blood Red Summer...

Haha I'm done
Add me or I will eat your kitty!



^Click the heart baby, you know you wanna.^

Quote by Sammythedruggie

touche sir.
#21
Quote by riffmasterjosh
well sorry for the mistake maybe i should read more carefully next time.

Sorry, it's too late, you're going to hell in my religion.
Quote by elekguit
Church of Coheed

God: Claudio Sanchez (Sorry rest of band Besides you Chris Pennie... FUCK YOU!)
Heaven: Vans Warped Tour in Hawaii featuring Metallica, Eric Clapton, The Offspring, Led Zeppelin and a reunion of The Beatles with ALL the original members (Lennon might not move much)
Hell: HELL
Church: The Second Stage Turbine
Book: The Ten Speed (Of God's Blood and Burial)
Hymns: The Light + The Glass, Mother May I. Mother Superior...
Moto: Welcome Home, have a Blood Red Summer...

Haha I'm done

As in, Coheed and Cambria? Hell for you too.
Actually, never mind, some of the other bands make up for it.
#23
the church of self creation.

i dedicate my life to building a time machine so i can travel to the beginning of time and create myself..otherwise i would never had existed.....
#25
Quote by Mudvayne_4_Life
Church of Opeth

God? Mikael Åkerfeldt.
Heaven? Blackwater Park
Hell? The realm of Hip-Hop.
Book? Sunbird.
Hymn? Anything of their discography.
Moto? "We hate hip-hop, and we love death metal."


Hell FTW!
kill all humans
#26
Quote by Deffmetal666
First national church or Boobs, Beer, and Distortion.

Brutal.
#27
The Religion of Booze and Other ****

God: Lemmy! With Dave Mustaine as his right hand man
Heaven: Dimebag, Hendrix, Burton having a jam fest EVERY night. Also there will be free pokemon cartridges for all
Hell: Condemned to be a UG mod and monitor the pit 24/7, be deprived of a pen0r.
Book: Just a picture book full of goatse, boobs, pen0r and asain girls in school uniforms
Church: Jimmy Page's house of the guitar. sermons and lessons on improving playing
Hymn: Ace Of Spades!!!
Moto: Hey does everyone have some booze? Yeah!!!!! *massive clanging together of beer glasses with everyone*
Just a random rule: Everyone. EVERYONE must wear viking helmets while holding a beer.

What a jolly good time i would have.

Edit: added a church!
Last edited by imdeth at Jun 18, 2008,
#28
Quote by Deffmetal666
First national church or Boobs, Beer, and Distortion.

Where do I sign up?
I get very tense around apples...Well, I get very tense generally. I think I've fallen into the trap of blaming fruit.

Jeff


Peavey Studio Pro 112 for sale. Anyone want it?
#29
Quote by alaskan_ninja
My religion has exactly one rule: Try to be a good person.

Incredibly vague, "good" can mean any number of things to any number of people. Hitler thought he was doing good by eradicating the Jews, are you telling me you support Hitler?!?! You sick bastard, I should come over there right now and slap you with a flounder.
#30
Religion: SKA
God: The Gods of Ska.
Heaven: A massive Ska festival, that goes on for eternity.
Hell: Giant My Chemical Romance concert, with MCR, FoB, Metro Station and Hannah Montana all playing... AT ONCE.
Book: The Ska Gods don't need a book to prove they are real. We'll replace "book" with "music".
Church: Anywhere that Ska is loved and played is a holy place.
Hymn: Super Rad! by The Aquabats!
Motto: With great Ska comes great Skanking.
Random Rule: Most know how to, and be willing to, Skank in public.
#31
Quote by fallenangel20
My religion already exists in the world, and is the most powerful and captivating force that has ever existed.


All of us follow it.


There are no non-believers.


Music.

How do I join!?
They don't think it be like it is, but it do.
#32
my mate created a religion, we used to have a wikipedia page on it. but i cant find it, we called it Henchism
Quote by FrenchyFungus


Awww, thanks Frenchy

Quote by Cobain_Is_King
I got a packet of Love Hearts when I was six and every one said 'You Have a Tiny Penis'




Hate humans? Click here
#33
GOD: ME
Heaven: Getting the honor of time spent with me, no matter how small the amount.
Hell: Avenged Sevenfold music playing in your head AT ALL TIMES!
Church: For extremely attractive females: my penis
for males: death
#34
simplism

commandments:
1.nobody has any more proof for their religion than the next guy
2.try to be a good person
3.everyone screws up every once in a while, your guilt is a gift that will help you fix whatever you did wrong
Quote by Sir-Shoelace
manliest string guage? barbed wire.

Founder Of the UG Slide Player's Guild, PM me If You're Really Feelin' Dem Blues

THE PIT
"better than your average psychiatrist"
#35
Berryism
The religion that we believe in one god, and that's Chuck Berry. The Berry Bible will have all of his lyrics in it.

Now let's all turn to 4:6
"Deep down Louisiana close to New Orleans
Way back up in the woods among the evergreens"

We will continue after the guitar gets in tune.
#36
Quote by shredmeiser101
simplism

commandments:
1.nobody has any more proof for their religion than the next guy
2.try to be a good person
3.everyone screws up every once in a while, your guilt is a gift that will help you fix whatever you did wrong


pft that's too simple, where's the gods and smiting, all good religions have smiting
Quote by slayaplaya

(oh! maybe some one will sig that witty comment! maybe not...)
#37
How about this.

The universe was created in 6 days, the creator took a rest on the 7th. This creator then made a man, but the man got bored and horny so the creator ripped out his rib and buried it and a woman came out of the ground.

One day the creator told them they couldn't eat from a magical tree because if they did they'd die. But this sneaky ass snake tells them they'll be cool if they eat from it. The creator catches them and tells them that he's gonna make sure that everyone born after them will be born in sin. He doesn't kill the man, he lives for another 900 years.

Fast forward 4000-6000 and this bozo is born who claims to be the son of this creator, even though his mom is a virgin (yea right). He get a fanbase by doing a bunch of magic tricks to passers by. One day this guy gets caught by some Romans and they decide to crucify him.

He obviously dies and they put him in a tomb and seal it up with a huuuge stone. 3 days later people gather by the tomb only to find the stone gone and the guy alive and well! Now nobody thought to write any of this down when they got home because, apparently, in those days people had shorter memories. This guy said he sacrificed himself for our sins, but still, a child has to be baptised to cleanse these sins.

Oh wait...I think this has been done before...Nevermind
#39
Quote by Deffmetal666
First national church or Boobs, Beer, and Distortion.


Where's the sign up form?

And what's the religion called?!
May the Force be with You.
Carmel is hawt
#40
Create you own religion eh?

L. Ron Hubbard style!!


*runs from the Scientology nuts*
Quote by guitarhero_764


Chuck Norris>Pokemon>Us>You>Your mom>diglett


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