#1
This is a song I'm working on. I've got all the music done for it, and I was happy with the chorus so I recorded the vocals for it. But I can't think of any good verses. If you have any ideas I would really appreciate it. It's about my friend who is completely controlled by his dad. He's told what to wear, what music he can listen to, when and how he spends his money stuff like that. It's a punk/ska type tune. peace...

Chorus:
Total control, over my soul
I can't do a thing
I'm just a puppet on a string

end...that's all I can think for now.
With an irresistible blend of reggae induced hip-hop and catchy pop-punk hooks, Half Chance Heroes captivates audiences with their unique sound and energetic stage show. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T8bSU0u8uvM
#2
I like it alot, even though it's so short. Stick with a "puppet" theme if can for the first verse and then it'll be like "Oh, yeah!" in the chorus. And then for the second verse make it a different theme and change the last line of the chorus to fit the theme.

Just a thought to hopefully help you out a bit.

I have nothing to crit that isn't old so just crit some random person