#1
"seemingly
as a result of globalization,
the class system no longer
directly applies within
the constraints of a nation,
rather,
we,
the western world,
are oppressing our
eastern brothers and are
the ruling
working
class."

"no, you see,
i agree ,
that globalization has
released the constraints
of a nation,
concerning the class system,
but the lending and loaning
of the ruling classes
has created a global
bourgeoisie (and a
global proletariat)
unbeknownst to the people
(hidden by the mass media)
the rich of the rich countries are
joining to exploit
the poor of the poor countries
and it's manic."

"so what are we to do about it?"

"a global labor movement, the
election of leaders who sympathize
with the economically strangled
classes and the adoption of an
anti-war
war
mentality."


i'm trying new things. if you hate it, please don't go ape shit. c4c.
Last edited by skagitup at Jun 20, 2008,
#2
nice, loved it, lots of big words I understood maybe 90-95 percent (wtf is a proletariat?), you may want to summarise to reach your audience, or if your goal is to confuse, RIGHT ON!
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#3
It would work in a Rage Against The Machine-eske song

But not in many other contexts

Good lyrics though. More thoughtful than some Punks i know who just change Margret Thatcher to tony blair then say **** a lot.
#4
Adding in the 'why not' doesn't work for me.

Quote by VanTheKraut
(wtf is a proletariat?)


I think this piece is slightly lost on you. Ever so slightly.
Go read . Then act.


I might be back at some point, though I hesitate to say that because I've said it a couple of times recently and ended up too busy to get back to something before it sinks in to the depths of the forum.
There's only one thing we can do to thwart the plot of these albino shape-shifting lizard BITCHES!
#5
That won't ever work... at least, it won't be that simple and its gonna be a long long time methinks. I'm not looking for a debate though, I admit I know next to nothing about politics and I like to keep it that way. I like your ideas though . You might be talking over some people's heads here, but hey, if they can't keep up don't slow down for them. I've never seen politics translated into poetry effectively, good job. I'm looking for comments on mine if you got time: https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=889192
"To be matter-of-fact about the world is to blunder into fantasy - and dull fantasy at that, as the real world is strange and wonderful." - Robert A. Heinlein
#6
I really don't think you need the last line. It should be left up to the reader. Plus, the anti-war war mentality makes a great ending.

I feel it's much stronger if you give the final word to the reader.

I quitely enjoyed this, like eating a softening party ring the day after a party.
#7
Quote by Alex
i'm trying new things. if you hate it, please don't go ape ****.

OH YOU THINK HIDING BEHIND SMALLER FONT WONT MAKE ME GO APE SHIT?? IS THAT A RACIST COMMENT?!?

lol. everyone needs to fling a little ape shit from time to time.

Alex, you stereotypically remind me of one of those guys who sits in an antique chair beside one of the many fireplaces in his mansion along with his close(but not too close) friends, smoking corn-cob pipes and discussing and contrasting the era's as they're upon us, movements in culture and politics, and what steps they'll take next to ruling our ever-so confused masses while raking in unimaginable profit from unimaginable legitamate sources. - not a bad thing.
this piece just put that into perspective for me.
i loved this. no qualms here.
There's a road that leads to the end of all suffering. You should take it.


- Jericho Caine


secret, aaaaagent maaan.
secret, aaaaagent maaan.
Last edited by ottoavist at Jun 20, 2008,
#8
I am not at all ashamed to say that I was hauntingly delighted with that stereotype, Kent.

Jamie, I guess I didn't want it to sound too preachy, as, I fear, it may seem by a retraction of the final lines. Perhaps I should approach it from a new angle entirely -> perhaps this one -> /