#1
So, I'm a straight guitarist, music composer, but due to my singer's low vocabulary in english, i've been forced to wright our next song, includeing lyrics. The final result promaises to be Pink Floyd meets Megadeth. So this is my first lyrics, or part of it, and I'd like your true, frank, and honest opinion about it
Thanx XD

"Where the heavens meet the depths
When my soul is left to reck
To sedate the pain you’ve never felt,
But you always knew was there.


Where the eyes hunt light but cannot see
Where the bells begin to groan
As the heart turns double-kick
And the breathing dearth motive


Bedlam of the absurd
Which gives yet takes
The ecstasy gnawing you
The pain that was the cure"

#3
What I like: "Where the bells begin to groan" conjures sadness, darkness and images of death in numbers enough to tire the bells to the point of them groaning. "Bedlam of the absurd"

What I don't like:
Spell Check? reck, dearth
"To sedate the pain you've never felt, but you always knew was there." Just doesn't strike a chord with me personally.

Overall:
Good Effort
Keep going. Write as many as you can even if it's just a few lines here and there. Play word games and stuff too to try to sharpen up and exercise your language part of the brain.
#4
You have potential I guess, but your piece is titled wrong. Read the rules and repost it correctly, and consult the S&L tips thread and a dictionary before reposting.

*reported*