audacity, free program, google
Stranger Danger ! What? Huh? Do i Know you? I Don't Talk To Strangers.
If you want to slow it down and change the file type you can do it with REAPER...a recording program that easily accomplishes it and is free.
I actually do have schizophrenia, so stop making fun of people who have it.

Boss ME-50
Silvertone Paul Stanley Apocalypse (modded)
Squier Affinity Strat (modded)
Italia Modulo 2
Fender Front 15G
If you want to slow something down without losing quality or changing the pitch, getting Amazing Slow Downer.

It has a free trial version but that's ****. I got it but not the way most people would support