#1
crit4crit just leave a link

Hope is terror,
When you turn it around,
Life is death,
When your feet hit the ground,
The ****s on the wall,
When you’re out of luck,
Too bad nobody gives a ****.

People dying,
Children crying,
All for what, All for what?
All for what, All for what?
Waves are crashing,
Lights are flashing,
All for what, All for what?
All for what, All for what?

The pain lingers,
When you leave it alone,
The world’s gone too far,
It’s cut down to bone,
And nothing’s better,
Don’t take us for dumb,
If the world’s not over,
And the pains going numb.

People dying,
Children crying,
All for what, All for what?
All for what, All for what?
Waves are crashing,
Lights are flashing,
All for what, All for what?
All for what, All for what?
I'm here to help

Quote by Jimbleton
ok, as usual pit is being very unhelpful except andychalmers, so im gonna go post this someplace else


And a master of storytelling...

Quote by Jackolas
andychalmers102, that story is awesome.
#2
i liked it but i think you need to rhyme alot less because if you notice a lot of bands don't actually rhyme and it sounds a lot better.

just a thought.
Quote by the_white_bunny
your just a simpleton that cant understand strategy apparently.

Quote by the_white_bunny
all hail king of the penis sucking(i said balls. you said dick for some reason?) Isabiggles
#3
Yeah, isabiggles is right, cut down on the rhyming. The third stanza in my opinion is the strongest.