#1
Just wondering what people would think of my lyrics. >_<

Verse:
My heart is breaking
But you don't see
My heart is dying
With a sigh I heave

The day has gone
I have seen
With the dawn
Is my belief.

Chorus:
For you to come
For you to save
Or were you never
That brave
For you to come
For you to save
Your hug is
What I crave

Bridge:
This is what you
See in front of me
I have nothing
Lost my dignity.
What do I have
to move on?
What do I have
to dwell upon?
#2
I like it a lot. Thank you for actually rhyming, I hate it when lyrics are posted on here and the rhyme scheme is ABCDEFGHIJKLM.. etc.

The only possible suggestion from my point of view would be (in the chorus) to crave something greater than a hug. I just feel that a hug is easily attainable and I don't feel that the craving of a hug matches up with the passion felt through out the rest of the song.
#4
Quote by welcom2duhjungl
Just wondering what people would think of my lyrics. >_<

Verse:
My heart is breaking
But you don't see
My heart is dying
With a sigh I heave

The day has gone
I have seen
With the dawn
Is my belief.

Chorus:
For you to come
For you to save
Or were you never
That brave
For you to come
For you to save
Your hug is
What I crave

Bridge:
This is what you
See in front of me
I have nothing
Lost my dignity.
What do I have
to move on?
What do I have
to dwell upon?


To be honest with you, I found this really vague, which is good sometimes, but this is not one of those times, or it might be me who don't get it. You might check those lines at bold, those killed the flow for me. Nonetheless, you might be starting, if you do, then you'll begin a process of evolution; if you don't, I'm sorry but this looks amateur-ish. Not trying to be harsh, I know I can be a dick sometimes...