#1
his keys couldn't open the door.
in a drunken stupor he stumbled to the back of the house.
he sighed,
laughed,
fell.
in a hazy daze he remembered all the faces
that encompassed him that night.
their dresses - scarlet velvet.
their suits - aptly business man.
they had money,
bursting wallets of green.
shying away in the corner he
fitted himself into a large cage,
protecting himself from their
middle-class pseudo-intellectual rants
about politics
and stock market meetings no one cares about.
alone, he silently passes the time
twitching his fingers,
staring at all the ballroom dancers
and wishing that he had the class to pursue with
their interests.
"i'd give my soul to be where i was a year ago... if i had a soul left to give"
#2
his keys couldn't open the door.
slight continuity problem here.
if he couldn't open the door, how did he get in?
you use stumble in the next line
maybe he could fumble with his keys
and later on, tumble?

in a drunken stupor he stumbled to the back of the house.
he sighed,
laughed,
fell.
in a hazy daze he remembered all the faces
that encompassed him that night.
didn't like the repetition of that.
their dresses - scarlet velvet.
their suits - aptly business man.
they had money,
bursting wallets of green.
i'd flip the order of the first two words.
maybe with rather than of.

shying away in the corner he
fitted himself into a large cage,
protecting himself from their
middle-class pseudo-intellectual rants
about politics
and stock market meetings no one cares about.
alone, he silently passes the time
tense shift with passes.
twitching his fingers,
staring at all the ballroom dancers
and wishing that he had the class to pursue with
their interests.
Meadows
Quote by Jackal58
I release my inner liberal every morning when I take a shit.
Quote by SK8RDUDE411
I wont be like those jerks who dedicate their beliefs to logic and reaosn.
#3
he didn't get in, his keys couldn't open the door so he stumbled to the back of the house and ended up falling and remembering what happened during the night.
"i'd give my soul to be where i was a year ago... if i had a soul left to give"