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#1


I got some free condoms over the internet because I'm a cheap bastard,and they sent me a c*ck ring.

Somehow (I really don't know how) it got out of my room and onto the stairs,unpacketed-it may have been the dog- and my mum found it.

She was cool with it,though.

Anyone else ever had a parent find condoms or other sexual "devices" and how did they react?

Tim
#3
no, not really
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#7
My mother helped me move out of my old flat into my house and I had a lot of condoms in one of my drawers. She just sighed and glared at me.
#8
I was out on spring break and was hanging in front of a bar with a trojan rep.

she gave me like 50 free condoms, a vibrating **** ring, lube, all this stuff.

i got home and my girl got into my bag and found all that and was like "... what??"

i was like "sooo ...test drive?"
#10
Quote by _Tim_
No baby>a risk


A brain communicating with its penis and knowing when to pull out>"hey honey i was gunna pull out before the phone rang and startled me"
#11
HAH now your mom thinks you cant keep a hard on.....

weird
And before he died, Taran-Ish had scrawled upon the altar of chrysolite with coarse shaky strokes the sign of DOOM.
#13
yeah my dad found mine on my car he didn't say much just kinda pretended he didn't see anything. awkward it was.
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#14
Quote by GrissomFan
A brain communicating with its penis and knowing when to pull out>"hey honey i was gunna pull out before the phone rang and startled me"

Brains have penises now?
#15
Quote by GrissomFan
A brain communicating with its penis and knowing when to pull out>"hey honey i was gunna pull out before the phone rang and startled me"


Pulling out doesn't work, the penis has already secreted some sperm during the intercourse before actual ejaculation.
Supreme Commander Of The Lolcats Of the UG Army

And that guy, who had that idea, one time


╠═══════╬═══════╣

THE SIMIAN σƒ τλε τρπ βπστλεπλσσδ

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#16
Quote by Boogie Man
Pulling out doesn't work, the penis has already secreted some sperm during the intercourse before actual ejaculation.
It reduces the chances massively though
#17
Quote by _Tim_
Brains have penises now?


yes a brain communicates with a penis that belongs to your body ?
how do you think an erection happens ? does the cute blonde on your screen or the drunk girls at a party command you have an erection or is it a natural thing ?
#19
Quote by Fassa Albrecht
Still not worth the risk!
Yeah...but that's not what you're thinking when you don't know her and you're high

Disclaimer: I hardly ever do this and not for a long time...I'm a good guy really
#20
Quote by Fassa Albrecht
Still not worth the risk!


anal seks ? except unlike a microwave it browns your sausage
#21
Quote by GrissomFan
yes a brain communicates with a penis that belongs to your body ?
how do you think an erection happens ? does the cute blonde on your screen or the drunk girls at a party command you have an erection or is it a natural thing ?

"A brain communicating with its penis"

That implies,to me, that the brain has a penis
#22
Quote by GrissomFan
anal seks ? except unlike a microwave it browns your sausage



I was thinking more of lesbian sex....all the fun and none of the risk.


Ah the fun of bisexuality.
#23
Quote by _Tim_
"A brain communicating with its penis"

That implies,to me, that the brain has a penis


technically both are part of the same living organism.

so yes a penis does have a brain evan though it is a separate part participating in sexual reproduction which wins !

Or maybe its a metaphorical term or your taking it literally like theres a third ball in the scrotum called the brain.
#24
never happened to me as i'm a virgin and never owned condoms *sigh*


i do know a girl who went to planned parenthood to ask about what birth control might be right for her, and gave her a bag with maybe $50 worth of condoms and spermicide.
#25
Quote by Fassa Albrecht
I was thinking more of lesbian sex....all the fun and none of the risk.


Ah the fun of bisexuality.



1. Furr balls
2. sex with a man
#27
Quote by Fassa Albrecht



It's not my fault I have twice the choice...


good thinking.

Why is gay anal wrong anyways both the man and women have the same structure of the anus and the same function?

Is it the principle i hate or the inhuman evil of aids ?
#28
Quote by GrissomFan
A brain communicating with its penis and knowing when to pull out>"hey honey i was gunna pull out before the phone rang and startled me"



We'll see how you feel after you knock some chick up.
<Han> I love Hitler
#29
Quote by HaKattack
We'll see how you feel after you knock some chick up.


Well im sure its only the ugly women who disagree with abortion seeing as no one will ever **** them hard enough to cum !
#30
Quote by GrissomFan
good thinking.

Why is gay anal wrong anyways both the man and women have the same structure of the anus and the same function?

Is it the principle i hate or the inhuman evil of aids ?



People have a problem with two guys going at it like rabbits, not the whole anal thing.
#31
My parents don't care. They are really open with sexuality, and I'm 21. They know I'm no longer a virgin, they even heard me and most of my girlfriends many many times. Hey, it's part of the human nature.
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I wish I had a dick like a black guy instead of my little white dick.

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i love you more than words can express jean.


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#32
Quote by JeanMi36
My parents don't care. They are really open with sexuality, and I'm 21. They know I'm no longer a virgin, they even heard me and most of my girlfriends many many times. Hey, it's part of the human nature.



Wish my family was like this....they'd flip if they found out about my bisexuality.
#34
Quote by Dirge Humani
I'm liking you less and less with every post you make.


Im sorry if i offended you. But it does have an element of truth in it.
#35
Quote by Fassa Albrecht
Wish my family was like this....they'd flip if they found out about my bisexuality.


Wanna come live at home with me?

/opportunism
Need fashion advice?

Quote by PaperStSoapCo
I wish I had a dick like a black guy instead of my little white dick.

Quote by JoelTheShredder
i love you more than words can express jean.


I saw Rick Astley in Quebec City, on April 10th 2009. Best day of my life!
#36
Quote by smb
It reduces the chances massively though

from 85 to 35 percent
Quote by TunerAddict,mdawg24
+Infinity

Listen to ExtremeMetalFTW, he knows what he is talking about...

Quote by vmanoman
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^^SO KVLT!!
#37
Quote by GrissomFan
yes a brain communicates with a penis that belongs to your body ?
how do you think an erection happens ? does the cute blonde on your screen or the drunk girls at a party command you have an erection or is it a natural thing ?

Sorry, my brain doesnt talk to penises.

^
He's laughing at YOU.
You better click that bastard.



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#38
Quote by ExtremeMetalFTW
from 85 to 35 percent
That's what they tell you at school It's much lower than that really.

Anyway, them's gambling odds
#39
Quote by ExtremeMetalFTW
from 85 to 35 percent

Dude.. thats like.. HALF A BABY!

^
He's laughing at YOU.
You better click that bastard.



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Peavey Valveking 112 (w/ Bad Monkey and GE-7 EQ)
#40
Quote by GrissomFan
Im sorry if i offended you. But it does have an element of truth in it.

You're a moron.

I believe that sums you up
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