#1
Closer and closer
days are getting older
as you try to make the most of whats left.

Older and older
nights are getting colder
as you try to avoid the inevitable truth.

But it's not right
and it's not fair
oh no... oh no...

I'm so sorry...


Short lyrics for my second song.

Hope you like it!
#2
i do like it. short and sweet, but gets is point across rather well.

Closer and closer
days are getting older
as you try to make the most of whats left.


i like this line. for sake of the flow i might cut "try to." depends on how you want it sung though, and if thats the rhythm you want.

Older and older
nights are getting colder
as you try to avoid the inevitable truth.


again no big complaints here.

But it's not right
and it's not fair
oh no... oh no...

I'm so sorry...



i will preface this by saying maybe this is the way you wanted it,but this is the only part of the song i have any problem with. i feel like you should give some more information before closing the song. it seems like the two verses build up anticipation and the outro doesnt fulfill it.

crit mine please? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=890884
#3
Thanks man. I can understand that the last few lines where kinda lacking in something. I'd planned to have a chorus when i started writing, but by the time i'd written two verses i totally forgot the words/rhythm for it.