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#1
Complete this paragraph UG.

The airline guys called me up and said I'd better come and see. The flight case was completely shattered under the load that had fallen from the forklift. I prepared myself for the worst as I pried the pieces apart. I shook the flight case debris free and played a lick. There were a few scratches in the paintwork, but bugger me if it wasn't still in tune, the impact didn't even seem to have affected the intonation. I love my insert guitar here


Ok UG, what we're trying to do here is nominate (or design) the hardest guitar on earth to kill. The one that follows your band around for years as a backup guitar and no matter what you do to it, it just keeps on rocking out.

Body: I think it's safe to assume it's going to be a solidbody. I don't see anyone giving a Gibson ES to Freedom Airways. The question is from a selection of the most common tone woods alder, mahogany, basswood and maple, which one is going to be hardest to kill. Also which construction method will take the most beating, will it be a one piece flat slab, a carvetop or a laminate job (like a 5 piece cheap strat).

Also will chambering make a difference to the longevity of the guitar? I'm not just going to assume that the hardest wood wins either, because a softer timber might absorb impact better, as might a lighter guitar if it were dropped (so chambering might actually help)

The other consideration with the body is it's resistance to liquids. Will it deform if soaked in beer on a nightly basis for 20 years? which tonewoods are most resistant to damp, beer and coffee? Which finishes will be easiest to wipe blood off (I wouldn't have thought it was an issue either). Will tung oil stop your guitar from becoming a bounty towel for vomit?

Neck I love Les Pauls, but I wouldn't ever give one to an airline. Can we assume then that we're looking for something with a straight pull headstock and a bolt on or through-neck, cos we all know where Gibsons break. How many "I broke my G400" threads have we seen? If it is to be a bolt on, then are we going for a Fender style neck plate or just screwing straight into the wood? Will the through-neck take more abuse?




Their are a couple of considerations I can forsee with the neck itself. The first is do we want a straight lump of wood, like with a bare bones fender, or some laminate job with about 7 pieces of wood in it like an Ibanez? (see the The JEM Site for details) Will the JEM or the tele fair better when it hits the stage? Also, does having a rosewood or ebony fretboard add any structural strength or add to intonation stability?

Hardware

We probably don't want a plastic nut, because they wear out. Possibly graphite then to extend the life of the strings? How long does Graphite last?

With the bridge we've got to consider holding intonation, not breaking strings and surviving being dropped on it's face. Initially I was thinking graphite saddles on a string through telecaster bridge, but a toploading bridge might be easier on the strings by eliminating the 90 degree bend. There's also the possibility that a floating bridge might actually absorb more impact in it's springs rather than transferring the shock through the wood, but I think it would probably require a setup if you hit it too hard. A les paul style tailpiece will always hit the ground first, and it's on pretty chunky screws to spread the impact, but my money's still on the tele angle bracket.

The plastic pickup mounts on carvetop guitars break too, after like the 100,000th pick strike the mounting on your bridge pup caves in. I'm leaning towards mounting them in a flat pickguard (or a tele bridge) but that might just be cos I'm tele predudiced.

Wiring Becuase this would be a backup guitar, it'd be nice if it had three seperately switched humbuckers, with seperate volumes; tone pots; coil tap and out of phase toggles, (that's 6 switches and 6 pots), but we've got to consider reliability. We're building this guitar with the intention of spilling a lot of beer into it, if it's got more wiring than a new lexus, it's not going to be easy to fix in a hurry. What's going to be our best plug and play setup. I'd be leaning towards a bridge bucker, neck single, 3 way switch and tone and volume. That might be overcomplicating it. We're open to suggestion. Gotta be reliable above all.

Oh and it's gotta have straplocks you can tow a Jeep with, I love Schallers myself.

If you could be assed reading all that, suggest your unbreakable guitar.
Quote by The devil at the crossroads
E|-------------------------------------------1--
B|-----------------------------------1--4--
G|-------------------------1-3-4--
D|------------------1-3----
A|--------1-2-3----
E|-1-4-----

Just move it around the fretboard
#2
this might just be good I'll start thinking a bit about that, all maple would be the hardest neck I think but what doesn't bend will break. And there are steel pickguards but I never hit it anyway.

Les paul body for sure, it has the least edges and pointing objects(devil horns = 0) so will be the least likely to break something off.
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Last edited by FretboardToAsh at Jun 24, 2008,
#4
Quote by Horlicks
Anything by Behringer


roflcakes


TS you put a LOT of effort into this thread, so I hope it doesnt disappear into oblivion in a few hours time.

Anyway my answer would be a Fender Telecaster


oh yeah /thread?
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#5
Quote by buzz
roflcakes


TS you put a LOT of effort into this thread, so I hope it doesnt disappear into oblivion in a few hours time.

Anyway my answer would be a Fender Telecaster


oh yeah /thread?

Definitely, just watch any old Who video of Pete Townshend tring to destroy a Tele, they're absolutely bulletproof....why do you think he started using Rickenbackers?
Actually called Mark!

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#7
Quote by buzz
TS you put a LOT of effort into this thread, so I hope it doesnt disappear into oblivion in a few hours time.



I'm basing the requirements on my own experiences of what I've seen bands (and worse, airlines) do to instruments. Tour survivability is something we haven't really reviewed much on UG. I'm also reading an old thread from '05 The worst thing you have ever done to your guitar

Apparently a few people have actually managed to stick their guitars into ceiling fans, I wouldn't have thought of that one. I also wouldn't have thought of having it drop out of the case onto a frozen driveway and skate out onto the road.

Hopefully we can use some of what we learn to better advise new guitarists on what will actually take some punishment. Reviews of flight cases probably aren't a bad idea either. I'd also like to get some more info out on road cases for fragile valve amps, because reviews on the internet are pretty scattered.
Quote by The devil at the crossroads
E|-------------------------------------------1--
B|-----------------------------------1--4--
G|-------------------------1-3-4--
D|------------------1-3----
A|--------1-2-3----
E|-1-4-----

Just move it around the fretboard
#11
someone once told me they were gonna make a guitar out of paving slabs... i don't know about toughest but it would definately be the heaviest
??? Fund: cba to keep up with it.
will at least try when I get a jerb
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#12
Honestly I had this old Harmony Strat knockoff.

Toughest guitar ever.
Pots were a little scratchy, and it was nigh impossible to intonate, but I'll be damned if it didn't hold a tune forever and take all sorts of abuse.
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#13
Quote by Martin Scott
Stagg Strat copy, lacquered with distilled baby Jesus tears.




Luck basically is a very big factor when it comes to how your guitar withstands falls or anything like that.
I think that any guitar can be "indestructable" if it is made out of the right wood with the right care and the right neck joint and etc.
#14
Quote by steven seagull
Definitely, just watch any old Who video of Pete Townshend tring to destroy a Tele, they're absolutely bulletproof....why do you think he started using Rickenbackers?


I saw one of the really old videos, is tele took 3 or 4 smashes and stayed fixably intact.
The newest ones took about 2 or 3 broke instantly.
#15
One of these steinbergers:



There's pretty much nothing that you can break off.
I've seen a video of ____ Steinberger demonstrating the toughnes of the guitar by standing on the neck joint while the guitar was raised up .

Dunno.
#17
teles definately. I wouldn't be surprised if they are made of rock covered in wood.
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#18
Quote by Keef-is-king


Mine's been run over, and there aren't even scratches!(It was in a gig bag, and the neck/neck joint was run over by a pickup truck)


Tell us more about it? What's it made out of, what kind of neck joint? The bridge looks pretty solid, might be a good one to fit to our Volvo guitar.
Quote by The devil at the crossroads
E|-------------------------------------------1--
B|-----------------------------------1--4--
G|-------------------------1-3-4--
D|------------------1-3----
A|--------1-2-3----
E|-1-4-----

Just move it around the fretboard
#19
steinbergers are pretty indestructible, but that is mostly the case for the one piece graphite ones, which are a few grand. the wooden ones arent as strong, but there is no headstock to break off atleast.
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#21
Wow, I never would have thought of a jet king, but it makes a lot of sense...good choice.

I'll have to say tele though...tried and true.
#22
Telecasters anyday they really are war mechines.
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#23
Telecaster was my first thought, but I just remembered seeing a video of Paul Gilbert trying to smash one of his guitars and it refusing to break in the slightest. It just kept bouncing every time he slammed it to the stage.
#24
Lol Paul Gilbert is a bag of bones though. (For all you fan boys im NOT saying hes not a great player so please go away.)
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#25
I'd have to say my epiphone flying Veewee.
Damn if that hasn't been through everything.
Including run over by a prius while in a mandolin gig bag.
...
Please do not insinuate anything sexual from that.

Quote by cobain_is_king
If your friends don't like your guitar, cover it in stickers and it'll be teh rawks!
#27
Tele with a Warmoth double truss rod neck. If you were really crazy you could put another neck screw in the middle of the 4 that are already in there.
Really though, any tele will do. There's nothing on a tele that's going to break unless you
A) try to break it, and even then it would be hard; or
B) get hit by a freight train while carrying it without a case, in which case you have bigger things to worry about than your guitar.
Seriously, it's two boards bolted together. The neck joint is plenty strong. Nothing is going to break.
#29
either a steinberger, or once I saw a guitar that was just a steel pipe with steel frets, a pickup and a bridge (with bridge tuners) attached.
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#30
Quote by Cosimo_Zaretti
Tell us more about it? What's it made out of, what kind of neck joint? The bridge looks pretty solid, might be a good one to fit to our Volvo guitar.


It's a solid Mahogany guitar, maple neck, four bolt neck joint with no neckplate. The bridge is a tune-o-matic with string through rather than a tailpiece. The guitar is flat out heavier than EVERY Les Paul I have ever played in recent memory.

This is the truck that ran it over:

Its my grandfather's truck, and he ran it over when I dropped it in his driveway. I'll be damned if the guitar wasn't still in tune when i picked it up. The new jetkings are rubbish, and their Bigsby will take less punishment. This one just has a 3/16 inch metal plate behind the bridge. The factory coil-tap switches are virtually fool proof and low profile. The only weak point on the guitar is the pickup selector, which is cruddy.

The whole guitar is solid and sounds great.
#31
I'd either say the Rhinestone Stratocaster or the rail. Or a Kramer with the metal neck maybe.
http://alexplorer.net/guitar/guitars/rail.html
http://www.keithsmart.com/images/douglas.jpg
The rhinestone Strat has a body made out of cold-cast bronze and is encrusted in rhinestones.
I guess the Rusty Steel Deville would be considered durable, the body is metal as well as the headstock having a metal plate.
http://www.keithsmart.com/images/trussartP1010052.JPG
Last edited by PhoenixFear at Jun 24, 2008,
#33
Quote by Danitarium
I wonder how a guitar with a "rhino-lining" finish would sound....


Hahahahaha

Well, if you wanted to make one REALLY indestructible and not resort to strategic materials, do a tele but make it all out of steel instead of wood. At that thickness, there's so much steel behind any part of the body, you're not even going to dent or ding it unless you hit it with something travelling thousands of feet per second that has an equivalent or greater hardness (like an armor piercing rifle caliber or larger bullet). This wold be a better choice durability wise than rock, concrete or such as it is hard enough to resist deofrmation but malleable enough to not shatter unless hit VERY hard (never gonna happen just dealing with normal gravity). Oh, it's not going to be fun to play, for sure, but go ahead and drop stuff on it from a forklift. Might break a couple strings if it doesn't happen to be in a case at the time Better get straplocks too. If the strap lets go and your foot is anywhere near it, you're getting a cast for your lack of foresight.
#34
If we're talking about complete stock guitars, I'd have to do with a telecaster. The body shape is just about the most structurally sound guitar design there is. I'd have to go with the neck being solid maple, as a rosewood/ebony fretboard could come off. If we were going for total originality with the guitar, I'd again suggest a telecaster body, or maybe a LP body with a neck made of yew. A neck made of yew the thickness of a strat/LP neck will not ever break, unless you exert hundreds of pounds on it in a fulcrum fashion. For the bridge, the TOM relies on pressure to hold it in place, so I'd suggest a bridge like what hardtail strats have on them.

As far as bolt on/neck thru, I'm not sure which would be stronger, bolt on would have the obvious possiblity of the screws stripping out the wood with enough pressure, but any shock would be absorbed and slowed down. Neck thru has the advantage of a longer and stronger peice of wood being used, but the body wings would be more prone to coming off under shock.


But like I said, stock guitar, Ash bodied, maple necked telecaster.
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#35
Quote by steven seagull
Definitely, just watch any old Who video of Pete Townshend tring to destroy a Tele, they're absolutely bulletproof....why do you think he started using Rickenbackers?


It was the other way around actually! Pete was originally using Rickenbackers. The problem was that they broke straight away and cost way too much to replace. The Fenders took A LOT of effort to destroy. Andif they did, they we're easy to repair. He just had to change the neck or so.

For me a guitar that will survive all this would be either a Strat or Tele. If I don't remember wrong, TNfootballfan62's Strat survived a hurricane...
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#36
Quote by buzz
roflcakes


TS you put a LOT of effort into this thread, so I hope it doesnt disappear into oblivion in a few hours time.

Anyway my answer would be a Fender Telecaster


oh yeah /thread?



+1

To add to that, the tele should be one of the cheap ones with the plan maple neck and no bindings or anything. Cheap, run of the mill, teles are the most solid of the wood guitars on the market today.
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#37
Quote by T!AN
Telecaster was my first thought, but I just remembered seeing a video of Paul Gilbert trying to smash one of his guitars and it refusing to break in the slightest. It just kept bouncing every time he slammed it to the stage.


My PGM has dents and scratches all over it from little knocks, whereas I've beat living hell into my Tele and it's fine. I think Gilbert just isn't the strongest guy in the world haha. Saying that, whilst the body is soft on the PGM, it's structurally very sound...as most RG's are really. Just that the neck is delicate compared to a Tele.
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#38
Quote by Ki'
I'm sure I saw a guitar made of solid rock somewhere.

yeah i saw that too. but i think it would break much easier than wood if it were hit by something
#39
ant thing with a neck thru
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#40
Telecasters win.

Strats from the stand point that the are so easily fixed... which makes them a dream to own... ... I love my strat...
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