#1
I really like this one. it's my first actual song in the sense that I plan to write lyrics for it, create a vocal melody, and will record sometime in the future it's pretty simple too which I like.

cool distortion/solo part at the end that I'm extremely proud of although the solo really isn't all that complex.

and also, kudos to the person who can name the song that I pretty much ripped off to write this one. I swear it was unintentional, but after I listened to it all the way through I was like "OH CRAP!" at some parts I'm still keeping it though even the tuning is the same *facepalm*

Edit: and I also know that this is truly a "Josh Song" (that's my name if you didn't know haha) because it all came together in only a couple hours rather than like 3 years which is how long most of my songs take to finish.

DoubleEdit: and it's also very repetitive so skip over a couple parts. every verse is exactly the same as well as exactly the same as the interludes. This will obviously sound a lot more interesting when the vocals come in.

TripleEdit: I'm not happy with the drums though so I'm probably gonna change those sometime.
Attachments:
0-0-0-4-5.zip
...Nothing you've ever...
...Planned on ever turned out...
...The way you planned...


...You're still disappointing them...
Last edited by Its_Rock77 at Jun 25, 2008,
#3
the one by the McKee guy? no, it's not that but I sure wish I could write like him

and thank you.
...Nothing you've ever...
...Planned on ever turned out...
...The way you planned...


...You're still disappointing them...
#5
wow.................................... That was amazing, it did get repetitive like you said, but it was amazing, nothing wrong at all, the solo was awesome, the acoustic guitar was super awesome, hope you record this, it would be even better with a good set of lyrics
10/10
#6
thank for crit man
You song very beautiful...

Intro
enough beautifully but I should like to more

Bridge
this I like more

Pre-Chorus
Drums do its work

Chorus
Yeah...this i like but i think why you used power chords

Guitar Solo
I like distortion come but solo

Outro
Fade out do it well

Total
not bad song although repeatiev...but i think lyrics will correct
7/10
War Is Over
(If You Want It)

SorryForMyEnglish=)))

Accordion Muse S 384-K
#7
I like the melodies on this

and interesting tuning too :-)

It reminds me of Mama I'm Coming Home

I love the verse, its very melodic

I don't really like the chorus too much, it clashes too much with the melodies set in the verse I think, but thats just me.

I like the way the bridge works with the powerchords. That would probarbly sound better though if you did the powerchords on an overdriven guitar and let the open strings ring out on the acoustic.

I like how you stick to that theme on the main solo, and the long vibrato notes work well, and the outro works perfectly

Crit Mine? top one in my sig
#8
Another masterpiece that I have seen recently :-) Only thing I can really find to crit is that I don't like the Chorus, to many open notes for me :-)

And just a quick question, how do you apply the Capo onto the fretboard? never found out to do it yet
#9
Quote by adaeha
Another masterpiece that I have seen recently :-) Only thing I can really find to crit is that I don't like the Chorus, to many open notes for me :-)

And just a quick question, how do you apply the Capo onto the fretboard? never found out to do it yet


you can put on a "capo" on the "properties of the track" box click where it says "track 1" or whatever you called it to open this. then just type in the fret number you want it to be on. unfortunately, if you use a capo all of the notes are relative to the capo so if you have a really high solo I find it hard to replicate what you actually play since all the frets will be different.

also, the key of the song gets off when you put on a capo.
...Nothing you've ever...
...Planned on ever turned out...
...The way you planned...


...You're still disappointing them...
#11
haha the song is Ocean by John Butler Trio - it's very similar yes but still clearly different and inspired by rather than a complete ripoff. Although I'd recommend you don't look at the gpro tab of that song...might scare you a bit. However the guitar solo is a great touch - makes the difference between yours and theirs clear. Only downside is, yes it does sound very similar to the above song, but has original touches as well - just work on the phrasing of the guitar solo a bit and try and make it more creative. Good job though
#12
no, I've never heard that song. :/ crap....
but I'm gonna check it out now.

but the song was The Sad Waltzes of Pietro Crespi by Owen. I'm guessing most of you haven't heard it though.
...Nothing you've ever...
...Planned on ever turned out...
...The way you planned...


...You're still disappointing them...
#13
That sounded good...

I didn't quite like the suspended chords and DM13 whatever in the chorus, but well, can't really tell until I hear the vocal melody...

You know, you can add a violin, or viola or some string instrument to each verse or bridge after half the song appox. Then it wouldn't lose interest through the song, cause the vocal melody on the verses always tends to be the same (With some minor changes at times), so you can add different instruments so it isn't repetitive, and so it can build to the solo better...

The solo was good, although I thought parts of the rhythm was kind of off, maybe because of the drums.

I want to hear the vocal melody soon

Good song! 8.5/10 (I liked bar 2 of each verse specially)


Wanna crit one of mine in sig?
#15
great guitar lines, and the solo.
good solo especially, liked how theres alot of held notes rather than lightning fast notes lol