#3
to answer the first one, this girl means alot to me and it is an inside joke. she doesn't like me (yet) but if she read it, she would know what I mean.
#4
I agree with Eggmond, this has been done a million times over... That's why this should stick to being a serenade for the gal you like, and not much else. Not bad, of course, but not anything special though And trust me, we girls go crazy over this kind of stuff
#5
Everyday the lights go out in your room,
Everyday I think about you,
Everything you do affects me and my life,
When your standing in my doorway you make the room go BRIGHT, BRIGHT, BRIGHT!

Everyday the lights go out in her room? What? And it should be "you're", not "your". Try not to be so straightforward, too. Can't you think of a more creative way to say that she affects your life? And the line, "you make the room go bright" is bad.

Just give me a chance and I will match that too, buy you a gift, find the heart in you.
Everywhere I go I can see your face
When I am here you ain't even near me,
Now Everybody knows you like him more than MEEEE!!!!!

This verse doesn't make any sense and has no rhyme scheme at all.

this girl once said to me,
live life like new fallen snow,
becareful where you step,
'cause every step shows

This verse also makes little sense. New fallen snow doesn't take any steps. It just... sits there.

All three verses have a different rhyme pattern (actually, the second verse doesn't have a rhyme pattern at all), which is not a good thing. Also, it's poorly written and doesn't make much sense. Be a bit more creative in trying to say what you want to say.
Banging on a trash can
Drumming on a street light
#6
well, I haven't been checking out this forum in a while, but I have Been working on it. I am gonna edit this right now. For the people who did reply, thanks for helping me, and for the people who didn't reply, thanks for at least taking a look at it.