#1
This is a song I wrote about my boyfriend. Tell me what you think.


Another dark day; the sky roars loud
The sad sun hides behind crying clouds
Whose rain tears fall against the sidewalks
Sweet taste of air, of how the wind talks

So hold me high
Dont let me down
Dont say goodbye
I need you around
You are the light
So hold me high
Dont let me down

A gentle touch and a soft kiss
I open my eyes and I look into his
Full of emotion shining bright and blue
I lose myself when he says "I Love You"

So hold me high
Dont let me down
Dont say goodbye
I need you around
You are the light
So hold me high
Dont let me down

When I'm with him I feel
So alive, so alive, so alive, so alive
He feels the same I see it
In his eyes, in his eyes, in his eye, in his eyes

So hold me high
Dont let me down
Dont say goodbye
I need you around
You are the light
So hold me high
Dont let me down
#2
I liked the first verse a fair bit. Loved the clever alliteration to make it feel jumpy and childish. Didn't like the syllable could in the third line next to the others.

Then the chorus sank this down in to nothing.

The emotion is great, but try and find your own words to let it out in, not pre-written phrases.

Revise this, take the first verse, have a look at that third line and start from there... if you want my advice, that is .
There's only one thing we can do to thwart the plot of these albino shape-shifting lizard BITCHES!