#1
Quite new to S&L, criticism is welcome

Look at all the dying bugs, bouncing off the walls-
The floor is sucking down on me, because I'm tripping balls.
The lights are bouncing off my face, and running into yours;
I'm struggling to lift my legs while walking through the doors.
I heard you from across the world, and tried to lift my head.
I couldn't answer back to you if I knew what you'd said.
Somehow though, I feel it, like I know what you mean,
But now I'm dissapearing, fading into dramamine.
Quote by Tire Me.
Raping her in front of other people would be morally wrong.

Quote by Bubbles516
wtf290 uses make bubbles feel like crap
Its super effective!
#2
hahahah, ahhh, high school... yeah that ****s nuts. I like the simplicity of the rhyme, it has a pleasing sound when you read it. The last line seemed drawn out syllable wise. And hey, be careful with that ****, it'll kill your brain
"To be matter-of-fact about the world is to blunder into fantasy - and dull fantasy at that, as the real world is strange and wonderful." - Robert A. Heinlein
#3
Quote by Santeria420
hahahah, ahhh, high school... yeah that ****s nuts. I like the simplicity of the rhyme, it has a pleasing sound when you read it. The last line seemed drawn out syllable wise. And hey, be careful with that ****, it'll kill your brain


It'll just flat out kill you I took 30 once, and don't remember anything. Apparently I was walking around talking to myself-kinda funny, but the kid had a pool. I could've drowned
Quote by Tire Me.
Raping her in front of other people would be morally wrong.

Quote by Bubbles516
wtf290 uses make bubbles feel like crap
Its super effective!