#1
walk me to my grave
take this tiresum fear thats bestows me
upon another's tomb

when the wind so restlessly whistles
the obsentities of my name
how can one be sane?
i am but a grain of architecture
placed where the blue print reads

its been awhile, whats a smile?
i feel as the horoscope portrays
i was born into forewarned death
no lifevest, take a breath at the bottom of the pool

who wants the keys to the castle?
when the fortress is wilted and grey?
i am the heir to air?
but i am circum to cough
when the casket rolls away?

is this really mine?
i had no say in procreation
wait I'm just holding it for a friend?
life is just probation?

am i paying the toll for the car ahead?
the attendant told me not to reason
"you are just a season, go ahead decay!"
Reaching for the sun
one may forget
the feet which
ground him
Last edited by bigbirdfan at Jun 25, 2008,
#2
Okay there are a few spelling/grammar/beat count mistakes, but beyond that, wow. It is too late (and it was a long day at work) for me to fully digest this. What I read was very intense, I like it thus far, I will get back and edit this post sometime tomorrow.
#4
Yeah, I really like a lot of the word play here. Really, very clever ideas and lyrics. The only line i wasn't a fan of is the "heir of air" but solely because when spoken, the meaning won't be conveyed and I think it would just come off as confusing. So in other words, great written poem, or great sung lyrics with the exeption of the one line